Talking In Class

[jdurant2]

I am a college student who has a very hard time asking for help in class. I am afraid of answering questions, asking questions and just generally speaking to people. I always think to myself that I am an idiot. This negative thought probably doesn't help but I just always think about it. I never say the right words and I am always rushing to get out of my classes. It feels like agoraphobia brought on by social anxiety. Any ideas on how to break this cycle? Don't just tell me to go to therapy because that really did not help for me

[Shadowtime]

I am basically recovered from BDD but still have some social anxiety issues. This is one of the big ones for me too. I feel inadequate compared to my classmates who all seem more intelligent, well-read and insightful.

The main thing that helps break the cycle (unfortunately) is dragging yourself out of your comfort zone. If you get the urge to say something yet feel your nerves holding you back, MAKE yourself say it. You need to realise that even if the words don't come out correctly, even if what you say isn't anything special, nine out of ten people aren't going to judge you for it. Our fears are IRRATIONAL. Most people are so caught up in their own worlds that they probably won't even notice what you say anyway. Stop viewing yourself as worse than other people and you won't be afraid to speak up in front of them.

Good luck, hope we both break the cycle.

[jdurant2]

I sometimes do speak up, but most of the time I don't. I do believe that my social anxiety is caused by feeling less intelligent, but I also think I don't like to talk because of how I feel during and after I public speak. During speaking my mind will start to race and it is hard for me to focus. I also will have a pounding heart after and during speaking which makes me fear this even more.

[alankay]

Durant, almost by definition anxious folks are intelligent and energetic. Forget that worry..... you are bright.
What helped me is a daily ssri as it makes me feel less "self conscious".
You didn't mention and tremor but I got that so used atenolol and now propranolol(20-40 mgs) which helps greatly.
I also went to Toastmasters(http://www.toastmasters.org/) a few times to help me get started. Most members of Toastmasters have some social anxiety so they get it.
In addition to doing some desensitizing work I'd try a 3 to 6 month course of a low dose ssri like zoloft to help get you started. You could just drop it afterward. Meet with a doc on that part and start looking into Toastmasters or similar. Start with small, concise contributions in class, nothing profound. :) PM me any time. Alankay

[LaFleur3]

I used to suffer from similar problems all the time when I was in school (and this was only a couple of years ago). Obviously you can't flick a switch in which you will walk into class one day and ask/answer all the questions you want to and it will all work out. You have to do it slowly. Try and force yourself to do things a little differently, do your best to try and sit at the front of the room (I used to find this tough but it can help) and even if you ask or answer one question during the class you'll come out feeling a lot better then if you didn't, keep trying to answer and ask more as each class goes by and hopefully and eventually you'll find yourself doing this naturally with none of those doubts and thoughts going into something that really when looked at outside the box, looks quite simple. Good luck and I hope this helps.

[TheBlack]

I think you are focusing too much on yourself. Distract the attention from yourself and focus more on delivering the message.