Moving, Job Change and Anxiety

[CandyMan28]

I feel like I am standing on the edge of a cliff, and little puff of air or movement will knock me over the edge. I recently had to leave my job due to the stress of the job, and just not fitting in well at all. I had been there almost two years, but it was quite a blow to my self-esteem to give up. They were nice to me as far as paying me out, and letting me have some time between jobs to relax. Well I think everyone knows how time off goes for anxiety ridden people like myself. I have GAD, Panic Disorder, and have taken medication for anxiety for many years. I get anxious when I go somewhere far away alone, so I guess there is some kind of agoraphobia tied in there somehow.

Anyway, what I am here for is to discuss the anxiety attacks that I face, the depression and just a feeling of detachment with the world around me. I get so anxious about starting a new job on Monday, I get nervous about living in a new place, I panic about staying in a hotel that may be a challenge to the familiarity of home. I have lost multiple jobs due to anxiety and dang lucky to even have a job because of my anxiety issues with travel, and being alone on the road.

I have read so many hours, spent many hours in therapy and take medications to help me with these disorders but then when I get in a stressful situation like this with the relocation and the new job, I have panic attacks, anxiety issues and even some depression I think. It is ridiculous how much money and time I have spent trying to solve these issues just to have them return at some point. I have tried to do the right things, by exercising, eating right, supplements, anything that even had a small hope of working. So this month there is the job change, the relocation, my daughter moved out to go to college (last kid at home), I feel old, like death is around the corner, and I am just freaking out.

So I guess why I say all this other than the inherent therapeutic value in talking about the issues, is to see if anyone else had experienced in this realm and what you did to stop the total wigging out that I have been experiencing.

[Dahila]

I had experienced similar situations, moving to country and not knowing the language, and having two small children (I raised them alone) beside the GAD, panic attacks , and constant anxiety (for the last 35 years) English is my second language, it makes me so anxious to go anywhere new and speak. I work shitty job because I am too scared to go to find a better one. Like you I tried a lot of things, to help myself; mediation (actually it was the best) meds, working out, reading, biking, gardening, and countless other things. Like you I feel old and unworthy, I believe I will collapse any day and die like my mother did, on heart attack. She did not even lie down, she died sitting beside the desk. Nothing help me as much as being somewhere close to the water, and listen the sounds of nature. Birdwatching helps too, gardening helped me to quit smoking but does not help anymore. It stresses me even more because of lack of energy to work in garden. The best meds for me is being with my grandchild, she is 7 and she is the one who calms grandma better than ativan. I think many people here go through life of misery and fear like you do. Best wishes, you are not alone.:)

[CandyMan28]

Thank you Dahila for your response. You and I feel exactly alike ! It is good to know that I am not alone. I can tell you that we are still very valuable to the world, and even though it is hard for us with anxiety, we need to work on staying on the positive side. I get so caught up in being old, and worthless that I forget to live.

Please keep in touch, we can definitely encourage each other. We are not worthless and we need to show the world, what they are missing. :)

[Dahila]

Candy man it is really uplifting what you said, today I got the bad day, high heart beat , low blood pressure (:) ) so it is anxiety. Tightness in chest and feeling the doom approaching. I feel more worthless everyday, every day some limitation, which was not there the previous day. Eh life :)) The world does not know their jewels :)) we are them, Got to go to work, I will be back in a few hours Thank you :)