Any advice?

[mrsmischief]

My biggest fear in the world is puking. I had some trauma when a kid died from suffocation in high school when puking. My second worse fear is being alone when sick.
Somehow I have come down with some kind of illness. I have a fever (its like my 8th one), congestion/runny nose, burning/itchy eyes, slight sore throat from runny nose, and slight abdomen pain, and the runs. Ibuprofen has helped little with the inflammation in my nose. Allegra D has done nothing for any of my symptoms. Sudafed nasal decongestant has helped a little but I'm still very runny. I cant sleep like this. I called off work today and don't want to call off tomorrow but I will if I have to.
The big problem here is that due to my anxiety/panic disorder I cant stop some thoughts. I can keep them out of my mind for a time but then they come back. I recently came into contact with a sick kitten, snake, baby squirrel, boxer pups, lots of mosquitos, and a wild frog. Could any of those have passed something to me that will NEED to be seen by a doctor because i have yet to get a first check from my new job and cant afford one. Let alone i haven't gotten my new health insurance yet.
Im freaking out.

[billch797]

You got to slow down and recognise all your fears are irrational, it's the anxiety talking. Yes, you've probably got a cold or the flu, or perhaps even hay fever but the important thing is to recognise the anxiety symptoms and not let them take control. Say to yourself "I'm experiencing irrational, scary thoughts right now, I know they will pass". Don't judge them or comment on how they make you feel just acknowledge them.

I too have a phobia of becoming unwell while on my own or away from home. I'm battling with it and its work in progress. You'll be ok, just don't give up and don't be afraid to seek professional help!

[mrsmischief]

You got to slow down and recognise all your fears are irrational, it's the anxiety talking. Yes, you've probably got a cold or the flu, or perhaps even hay fever but the important thing is to recognise the anxiety symptoms and not let them take control. Say to yourself "I'm experiencing irrational, scary thoughts right now, I know they will pass". Don't judge them or comment on how they make you feel just acknowledge them.

I too have a phobia of becoming unwell while on my own or away from home. I'm battling with it and its work in progress. You'll be ok, just don't give up and don't be afraid to seek professional help!

Thanks. I know they're irrational. But you're right. I need to just acknowledge them and not spend time dwelling on them. I currently work door to door for a living and today was my first day back at work. Oddly I felt fine when walking. But the time I spent traveling in the car and in our office meetings were the worst. I couldn't help but still feel sick and then feel anxious which makes me not look forward to tomorrow. :/ i hate my anxiety so much. Im so jealous of all my friends that have no idea what its like. I just wonder if Ill ever have it under control.

[billch797]

Thanks. I know they're irrational. But you're right. I need to just acknowledge them and not spend time dwelling on them. I currently work door to door for a living and today was my first day back at work. Oddly I felt fine when walking. But the time I spent traveling in the car and in our office meetings were the worst. I couldn't help but still feel sick and then feel anxious which makes me not look forward to tomorrow. :/ i hate my anxiety so much. Im so jealous of all my friends that have no idea what its like. I just wonder if Ill ever have it under control.

Don't be jealous of them, they will never see the world through your eyes and you have a unique perspective on things. You look deeper and consider things much more and I'm sure you have a great imagination and quite creative. Try the acknowledgement, it's called "mindfulness' just simply being aware of your mental state and acknowledging it will go a long way. Also there are lots of online guided self help websites. Check out ecouch, seems pretty good. Guided meditation also helps me. Good luck!!