Mranx
09-03-2013, 08:39 AM
I had managed to convince myself that I had OCD because I was stuck on a particular non threatening thought for a couple of hours. I then looked up OCD on Wikipedia and I seen that they had intrusive thoughts with some of a sexual nature, I convinced myself that I was sexually attracted to my girlfriends niece. My brain got completely stuck on this thought and then the more I tried to remove this thought the worse my anxiety became. It was an awful time, absolutely traumatic. The more I began to rationalise these thoughts they began to change to my family members children etc. I felt like every time I got used to these thoughts they would change. To me the worst imaginable was children and my family. As time has gone by I manage to have some control of them but now I spend a lot of my day in fear of being totally consumed by pure obsessive panic fear and anxiety. It was such a traumatic experience And it has left deep scars on me mentally. The fear of anxiety has stopped me from enjoying holidays it has stopped me from travelling. I just remember how horrible a time I had and I fear it coming back.