tired of it all...

[autumnbee123]

Being 17 and worrying about dying 24/7 is getting really really old. I feel like my body is 70. I've drug myself so far down thinking this everyday that I'm wasting away. I literally feel like death each day that I wake up. I'm so fucking depressed that nothing I do makes me happy. ever. I feel as though my whole life is being thrown away and I feel like its not fair for me to live like this. I don't know what I can do at this point to make my life better as I've already wasted so much of it being anxiety ridden and depressed. im so young and for me to already go through this shit just isn't fair. I have so much life I'm supposed to live, what about getting married, getting a good job, having kids? growing old. why the fuck do I need to feel like my life is already over? why does my body need to do this to me? my mind? :(

[itsloulou]

Being 17 and worrying about dying 24/7 is getting really really old. I feel like my body is 70. I've drug myself so far down thinking this everyday that I'm wasting away. I literally feel like death each day that I wake up. I'm so fucking depressed that nothing I do makes me happy. ever. I feel as though my whole life is being thrown away and I feel like its not fair for me to live like this. I don't know what I can do at this point to make my life better as I've already wasted so much of it being anxiety ridden and depressed. im so young and for me to already go through this shit just isn't fair. I have so much life I'm supposed to live, what about getting married, getting a good job, having kids? growing old. why the fuck do I need to feel like my life is already over? why does my body need to do this to me? my mind? :(

Same here. Im always tired, sick and sad. Dying is 24/7 on my mind. It's the worst. This isn't life. The day after tomorrow I'm turning 17 and I'm afraid I won't even get to celevrate it. I'm so scared and lifeless atm. It just hurts so bad. I am done feeling this way, but I feel like there is nothing to save me.

[autumnbee123]

That's really sad!!!): I know my 17th was shit. My 18th is coming up in October and I don't even think ill be alive to witness it. I seriously hate living like this.. It's never ending.

[itsloulou]

That's really sad!!!): I know my 17th was shit. My 18th is coming up in October and I don't even think ill be alive to witness it. I seriously hate living like this.. It's never ending.

Yes... Its never ending... Same feeling for me.. I really dont feel like I havr long to live. I wanted to throw a party for friends and other people but I can't plan it because I'll propavly feel sick and tgen I don't wanna throw a party no more.. It sucks. Everyone around me is living to the fullest, and I am mostly at home. Scared for death, crying. What kind of life of a teeenager is that... Daaamn i hate this illness.

[autumnbee123]

That really sucks! Yeah I didn't think I'd be alive for my 17th birthday last year. And now I definitely feel way worse this year. Literally feel like my days are numbered. Like I have hours to live even. Minutes. I hate this!!!! ):

[str8trippin]

Hey ladies--I completely understand what you are both going through. I'm in the same place and I'm ten years older than both you! Even at 27, I should be out living my life, excited for the future and looking forward to how much is still ahead of me and instead I'm consumed day after day by constant thoughts about death. It's definitely no way to live. Point blank, I'm terrified. Not only do the thoughts themselves terrify me, but the whole notion of not living terrifies me. Every time I'm at the doctor they do a checklist with me and ask if I have any suicidal thoughts and I always laugh and have to try and explain that I've never have a suicidal thought in my life...I love life SO much that the thought of not having it scares the bejeezus out of me. On the whole, I've done really well in coping with my anxiety and have overcome a lot in the last few months. This is kind of the last thing that seems to have a hold on me and more than anything I just want it to go away. Just one day without being plagued by thoughts of dying would be a miracle. I'm so sorry that both of you are experiencing this...but you aren't alone, that I can reassure you, and try to reassure myself. Just think, ten or twenty or thirty or fifty years from now you'll look back at this time in your life and think how silly it was...just make sure along the way you continue to DO things, so that when you are looking back you aren't regretting that you stopped living your life because of this BULL****! Keep living, even when it's a struggle.

[sitemastercalifornia]

That really sucks! Yeah I didn't think I'd be alive for my 17th birthday last year. And now I definitely feel way worse this year. Literally feel like my days are numbered. Like I have hours to live even. Minutes. I hate this!!!! ):



How did your MRI Go? I'm 100% sure you just have anxiety. Trust me, last month I was dizzy, nauseous, couldn't walk right, shaking 24/7, couldn't sleep, didn't eat, eye twitching, shaky legs, everything. I went to the doc. Had 3 days of hell waiting on blood work, swore i had something. Came back and nothing. Got Propranlol for anxiety which is safer since its actually a blood pressure med, it really helped me. I also got Zoloft, week 1.5 so far my anxiety is down to about 10%. Did they give you anything?

[autumnbee123]

My drs are half ass. They still haven't even made my referral to the big hospital yet. They said its gonna take a week atleast.

[sitemastercalifornia]

My drs are half ass. They still haven't even made my referral to the big hospital yet. They said its gonna take a week atleast.

Mine too, i had to ask my doc to check my ear because i was getting so dizzy and it was hard to walk. I figured my first appointment in 10 yrs would have routine things like that done lol. Do you and your boyfriend live near Anchorage? I went there when I was little it was awesome!

[autumnbee123]

Yeah, I just end up in ER. The only time they actually do any testing is when I go to ER. And yeah we're 300 miles out from anchorage. We usually live only 100 miles away but were living close to the oil field because that's where he works