New to this

[Collegeboy95]

Hi! I'm new to this so please bare with me. I just turned 18 years old and have been recently diagnosed with anxiety. This summer has been the absolute worst time of my life. I never really suffered from anxiety, other than the minimal stress to do good in school which I handled quite well. My parents got a divorce during my Junior year and I did not mind. My father wasn't the best and said very hurtful things but I never let it get to me. In fact, I was able to brush off everything that happened to me and I even had a "care free" attitude. After I graduated high school, I made a reckless decision that I thought I would have never done. I put myself through an HIV scare, something no one should have to go through. I cried everyday and had anxiety attacks about the "what ifs." How will I handle the result of positive? How will I tell my family? Is life worth it? It got very ugly and I felt alone. My anxiety was so high that I wanted to go get tested everyday. Whenever the result came back as "negative" I always told myself that I wasn't and that the next time it would change. Well, after being told by many doctors that my result was conclusive, I finally believed that I was negative. My life started to get back on track and I was getting back to my normal self. I was still on track to leave at the end of August to go to college in San Diego. Well, during one sleepless night, I watched a documentary and scared myself into thinking I was like the people they were talking about. (I don't want to say what it is, it is too embarrassing.) I finally went to see a therapist who assured me I wasn't what I thought but that I did have anxiety and referred me to a psychologist to be put on medication. I was prescribed Prozac but I have not taken any because my mother does not want to me go on it. (My brother has intrusive thoughts, OCD, and anxiety. He "sees" scary things and some even call him schizophrenic. He is on a lot of medication and my mother fears I may become dependent on medicine as well.) Lately, I have been having thoughts about the "what ifs" about EVERYTHING. What if I hurt someone? What if I snap one day and do something I will regret? What if I think about this so much that I am going to become mental and actually do something horrible? I blow everything out of proportion. I start thinking about what everyone will think of me, what will happen to me if I do this or what is going to happen to my family? I feel stuck and hopeless. I guess my question is, is this normal with anxiety? You think about the what if about one thing and then you are stuck on it for what seems like forever and you can't escape? And if any of you are on Prozac, does it help? I am seeing my therapist on Thursday and hope he can talk to my mom about the medicine. I told my mom my fears about the "what ifs" I had, specifically about hurting myself or someone, and all she said was "Great, now I have two mental sons. What did I do to deserve this?" Now that's stuck in my head and I am afraid that I am going to convince myself that I am mental!

[Cobra]

Dude, your mom is messed up. No loving mother would say that. I think most of your issues revolve around your family. Sounds like you are in total denial about the divorce. Your mom is trying to stop you taking meds because of how she will look and feel. That's extremely weird. And the whole HIV scare was based on how others will look at you. I hope you can see how dysfunctional all that stuff is.

[acetone]

Antidepressants(Prozac) take a few weeks to work. They need to be taken daily. You should give the med at least one month. It is also normal to feel worse for a short while before feeling better on ADs.

[SleeplessInPA]

I can completely relate when you said " Lately, I have been having thoughts about the "what ifs" about EVERYTHING. What if I hurt someone? What if I snap one day and do something I will regret? What if I think about this so much that I am going to become mental and actually do something horrible? I blow everything out of proportion. I start thinking about what everyone will think of me, what will happen to me if I do this or what is going to happen to my family? I feel stuck and hopeless."

This is the way I've been feeling lately and it is a terrible feeling. I worry I am going to lose control! Today is one of those days for me...unfortunately, I am at work and all I want to do is get up and go home. To answer your question...yes, these thoughts/feelings are all part of anxiety. You should really consider trying medication. Are you still seeing your therapist?

[JLBnole68]

Dude, your mom is messed up. No loving mother would say that. I think most of your issues revolve around your family. Sounds like you are in total denial about the divorce. Your mom is trying to stop you taking meds because of how she will look and feel. That's extremely weird. And the whole HIV scare was based on how others will look at you. I hope you can see how dysfunctional all that stuff is.

I agree. If you're having trouble dealing with the anxiety, I certainly wouldn't avoid medication to save face for your mom. Sounds like she might be contributing to the problem. My anxiety started over an HIV scare in college. I was (and am still) fine, but the worry and obsession over your health can spiral into a chronic pattern that's hard to get rid of. It took several years before I was finally diagnosed with anxiety. I suffered a long time without medication or any real tools to help me. Don't put yourself through that for the sake of anyone else. You do what you need to do in order to stay physically and mentally healthy. Take care of yourself. Be well. ;)

[alankay]

Yes anxiety did all that to me before I realized it was indeed all anxiety and how it "worked". My advise would be to stay on the prozac, continue with a therapist and never, ever fully believe the scary scenarios you imagine will/can happen. They never do. You are anxious and that's that. I've worried about a million scenarios and they never happen. I just got anxious about it all but now I've learned how to expect that and ignore it for the most part. Alankay

[Collegeboy95]

Hi all, thank you for responding! As much as you may think my mom is heartless, I can assure you she is not. She loves me deeply and does not feel my problems are big enough for medication. I do have a therapy appointment on Thursday and plan to tell him everything new that has occurred since the last session. It feels assuring to hear stories that I am not alone. Some days are good, some days are bad. I just keep thinking about the "what ifs" and it literally scares me to death. Is this attributed to anxiety or do I have another condition that needs to be addressed? Is it normal to have these fears? I just want to feel myself again, I guess you could say. Those of you who have replied, have you taken any medication? I will ask my therapist if he still believes I should take the Prozac or if we should up the dosage or take new medicine to begin with. I have an appointment with my Doctor on Monday to address my constant headaches.

[SleeplessInPA]

I can relate....my "what's ifs" get totally out of control! The other day I had myself so worked up thinking that one day I would be homeless and living on the street because of my student loans... that's just one of the hundreds of thoughts I have! Trust me, I feel your pain! I found this site in another post and have found some of it helpful http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax_doc.cfm?Mini_ID=46

Yes, I am on meds. I avoided it for a long time, but at one point my anxiety got so bad I had no choice. I try to write down everything I am thinking and feeling, so I can share it with my therapist.