Feeling Pathetic Because Others Are Normal?

[Degenerate]

Okay, so because of health problems, I'm renting from my parents as I undergo treatment (cancer). My step-dad is the epitome of stable emotional health. He gets angry and frustrated, but never scared, anxious, or depressed. My condition is a complete mystery to him.

This makes me feel quite pathetic. He probably thinks I am just a baby and need to shape up. I have tried my entire life and this condition has remained. So, I know it is inborn and not really my fault, but that makes me feel even more pathetic and ill-suited for life. Its sad knowing I'm like a lost cause and a drain for everyone else who are healthily adapted to life.

Anyone else feel like crap because they know they are so emotionally constrained compared to other fully functioning individuals?

[JLBnole68]

I'm sure we all feel that way sometimes, but don't get so down on yourself. You can't be a defeatist if you want to overcome anxiety or depression. You're neither pathetic nor are you ill-suited for life. No one is a lost cause. And no one's life is perfect. Everyone struggles with different things every single day. Your situation isn't unique. Take comfort in knowing you have a support system of people who care and want you to heal. Don't give up and talk yourself into a corner. Yes, it's a battle, but a battle that can be won. I'm not sure what fully functioning means. Many of those you perceive to be fully functional are probably dealing with their own anxieties and battles. The difference is in having the courage to stand up and fight. And the willingness to let others help. You're going to get better. Be strong. Have faith. It's going to happen. I hope you start feeling it soon. The more you convince your mind that you're going to be fine, the sooner your body will follow suit. Wishing you peace, love, happiness, confidence and healing.

[tailspin]

Hi Degenerate, I'm really sorry you're feeling so bad emotionally as well as dealing with cancer treatment. I hope your step Dad is able to be somewhat supportive, even if he is unable to understand the nature of your mood disorder. Or at least, I really hope he isn't blaming you for your mental health issues.

I can definitely relate to feeling inadequate when I compare myself with people who don't have mental health problems. Dealing with depression and anxiety on a regular basis can certainly have a negative impact on how we're able to live our life and can really hold us back. It's hard not to feel like a failure sometimes. But I also think that's the nature of depression and anxiety: it erodes our self-esteem and gives us an overly negative opinion of ourselves, which isn't necessarily true. For example, you are definitely not a lost cause! But I understand that you feel that way. That's how depression makes us feel. But you are being way too hard on yourself.

Are you getting any help with your depression and anxiety? Counseling or anti-depressant medication? I can imagine that just dealing with cancer alone would be really difficult. Let alone if you already have mental health issues.

Joining an online support group is definitely a good move and I hope you find support here. I also hope you're able to get some real life professional help.

Wishing you much better days ahead!