I had a Meltdown

[LittleBit]

I had a meltdown last night. Two weeks ago my boyfriend of 2 years came home and simply said "Babe, I just don't want to be with you anymore". Went on autopilot, had him sign me off the apartment lease, went and found an apartment and moved all my shit. The whole time I was moving he stayed across the street with his slimeball buddy, just smiling and watching me go about my depressing business. I went to my doc and got put on Lexipro and got a therapist, but only one visit so far.
Well, last night being all alone hit me really really hard. I drank too much and began texting my sister for help, my friends, anybody. Nobody came over. Of course I started texting him and made a fool of myself. Crying and crying and crying so much...I look like hell this morning. Can't even open my eyes!
I feel so alone.

[LittleBit]

I haven't eaten in 2 weeks. I am 47 year old female who used to be fun and perky and pretty...now I am none of those things

[tailspin]

Hi LittleBit. My heart really goes out to you! A relationship break-up like that really hurts. As for drunk-texting your ex, we've all done that!! Definitely no need to beat yourself up about that. I know how shitty it feels though. I hope your sister or one of your friends is able to spend some time with you today.

It's great you've been so pro-active and gone to see a doctor about getting on an anti-depressant. And started seeing a therapist too. You're doing all the right things! At the risk of stating the obvious, it's probably a good idea not to drink alcohol right now. Give the meds a chance to kick in and, hopefully, do their thing.

Definitely a good idea to try and keep busy right now and distract yourself from dwelling on what's just happened (easier said than done, I know). I hope the therapy helps and that you start feeling some benefit from the Lexapro soon.

[JustAnotherAttack]

This might not work, but its worked for me when I was going through a bad breakup...I thought the guy was perfect when I was engaged to him.
Now I hate him. :)
Try thinking of all of the reasons that you don't like him. There has to be something. I realize now that the pretty boy idiot that I was engaged to really was a dumbass, lol.
You just have to really realize that you're beyond feeling like crap over someone like that.
I mean my gosh...he let you move out all of your things by yourself.

My ex was an idiot like that too...except for when we were together. We were moving and I was in charge of lifting all of the heavy boxes even though I was at least 60lbs lighter than he was.
Some guys just need a reality check.

[LittleBit]

I want to say thank you for those who acknowledged my pain. I will respond more later, and I hope I can do the same for you. I spent the day with my sister and a very good friend, fed me, talked. I so needed that. Nobody should be alone with their pain. Aloneness is the worst part of it all. It is not by a long stretch over, but I got through today. Still sad, but right now less so I suppose.

[Degenerate]

Hey, good for you to reaching out and not suffering alone. Suffering alone is the worst aspect, I agree. It will take time to get over, but the support you have shows that people care about you and you will bounce back. Im sorry he was such a jerk to you.

[SleeplessInPA]

HI LittleBit, I know I don't know you or your ex...but he sounds like a real jerk. You might not see it now but it sounds like you will be much better off w/o him. Breakups can be hard and hurtful, you said you are 47 and I am guessing he is around the same age??? I would expect more mature behavior from him. I am sorry you are going through all of this, but, I promise it will get better.

[tailspin]

I want to say thank you for those who acknowledged my pain. I will respond more later, and I hope I can do the same for you. I spent the day with my sister and a very good friend, fed me, talked. I so needed that. Nobody should be alone with their pain. Aloneness is the worst part of it all. It is not by a long stretch over, but I got through today. Still sad, but right now less so I suppose.

Really glad you had a good day today with people who love you. Sounds very healing. Wishing you many good days ahead!

[LittleBit]

Hey, good for you to reaching out and not suffering alone. Suffering alone is the worst aspect, I agree. It will take time to get over, but the support you have shows that people care about you and you will bounce back. Im sorry he was such a jerk to you.

Thank you. It is so nice to know, that even in the thick of the night, I can go to this forum and feel like I am not alone. He was/is a jerk to me and I deserve better. And to respond to a previous message, he was 10 years younger than me. Mentally probably 30 years younger! Nevertheless, you know, rejection sucks.

[Lin]

I had a meltdown last night. Two weeks ago my boyfriend of 2 years came home and simply said "Babe, I just don't want to be with you anymore". Went on autopilot, had him sign me off the apartment lease, went and found an apartment and moved all my shit. The whole time I was moving he stayed across the street with his slimeball buddy, just smiling and watching me go about my depressing business. I went to my doc and got put on Lexipro and got a therapist, but only one visit so far.
Well, last night being all alone hit me really really hard. I drank too much and began texting my sister for help, my friends, anybody. Nobody came over. Of course I started texting him and made a fool of myself. Crying and crying and crying so much...I look like hell this morning. Can't even open my eyes!
I feel so alone.

I am sorry your relationship has ended and I know how difficult it is to move on, but hopefully after you have had time to get over him, you will find it is for the best and find someone who is nice and good for you.
I believe in fate so I am certain things happen for a reason even if really hard at the start. Good luck.

[LittleBit]

Thanks, Lin. I know when I take the time to think things through he really wasn't good to me. There was really a lot of resentment from him that I was more educated and things. He always wanted to take off on his bike with his friends and not have to be accountable at all to me. I probably put up with it cause I figured it was better than being alone. Pathetic, I know. I think my meds are helping, and being with people who are good for me (though I am alone most of the day, as I work from home). I am making myself get out and do things. And to JustanotherAttack: My sister said last night that my boys (16,18) are more mature than that POS!