Hi- new on here

[lilyjane90]

Hello. I'm 21 and a student. I've been feeling pretty low all year but nothing troubling- about 2 weeks ago I had a panic attack in my sleep and I woke up in shock. Took me a week to recover- I called in sick for work, couldn't get to sleep at night and completely lost my appetite. Then I thought I had recovered until it happened again two days ago. I called in sick for work again and returned to my hometown to my parents house. I've been stressed lately due to moving house which took weeks to organise, I went through a breakup a few months ago and my mother was recently in an operation. I handled all of these things well but now I feel like I've gone off the rails. I can't stop worrying about having a panic attack, and when this happens my whole body gets hot and I start sweating. At the minute I can't stop crying and I wake up crying which is making life difficult because I don't want to leave my room. I'm having really negative and hysterical thoughts about how I can't cope with this and how it's never going to end which is the worst part because that causes the panic and I can't seem to switch these thoughts off! :(
I don't want to lose my job because even though it's only a part-time job I really enjoy it. But, since I've had this job I haven't been able to return home for the summer and so I haven't had a break yet all year because I've been at university, then had exams, then spent all summer working. I asked my boss for some time off to visit my mother after her operation and he rejected it so the only way I could go home was to call in sick, which made me stressed even more because I hate calling in sick and letting people down.
I'm now really exhausted because I wake up crying and I just want it to stop. I'm spending some time in my hometown now to recover but I want to be able to go back to London in a few weeks for the start of university and right now the idea of doing that is horrifying.

Any advice on why this happened to me?? Or how to stop thinking such negative thoughts?

[Lin]

Sounds like exhaustion has caused you extra pressure and stress which has made your depression and anxiety worse.
Try to have a small break from work and studying just to give your head a small rest, then you might feel better and well enough to continue with work and studying.
Studying is really hard work and can take a real toll on your head, especially working at the same time.
Be kind to yourself, give yourself little breaks from both when you can and do something relaxing and nice.
You are too young not to be enjoying yourself - try to find a balance with work and study, so that you can start enjoying your student life and start feeling better. It is too easy when you are away from home to try too hard with everything and push yourself too much.
I am sure that once you get back to university you will be OK again, but just keep yourself on an even keel by not pushing yourself too hard with studying or working.
It might not be possible to get rid of all your negative thoughts and panic attacks, but you can get better at dealing with them, and by not getting to tired with working and studying will help. So once you notice that you are getting ill, just start to slow down on studying and work so that your head gets a rest.

[alankay]

Have so seen a doc yet on this anxiety? Alankay

[Lin]

Hope you are feeling better and have found some help from the forum. As Alankay says above, you should always get any symptoms checked by a doctor, so that you know that it is anxiety and depression.
Best to know what you are dealing with first.

[lilyjane90]

Have so seen a doc yet on this anxiety? Alankay

I went to see my GP a couple of weeks ago- he referred me to a counselling service in my hometown who have asked me to contact them, but I haven't done so yet as I'm supposed to be going back to London tomorrow morning.

He said that he can prescribe medication but he prefers not to as it doesn't get to the root of the problem- which is true I guess

[lilyjane90]

Hope you are feeling better and have found some help from the forum. As Alankay says above, you should always get any symptoms checked by a doctor, so that you know that it is anxiety and depression.
Best to know what you are dealing with first.

Thanks for your reply!

Yeah the doctor said it's obviously a pretty common thing to have these panic attacks and such. He signed me off work for 2 weeks but I have to go back tomorrow. The panic and negativity had subsided since being home but now I have to go back tomorrow it's unfortunately come back and the thought of going back is making me panic already which is making life difficult

I guess I'll just have to train my mind to not panic and hopefully things will settle down...!