Michaelrhodes5
09-01-2013, 05:01 AM
Hi my name is mike I'm 22 and have been dealing with anxiety for over three years. It started when I was getting ready to go off to school. I used to be a very fun going guy but sense this has started I have trouble going out and doing things.
I hope my sentence structure and punctuation doesn't detour you from reading my long story. I feel that if I don't tell the story of how I got to where I am. It wouldn't do me any good posting.
I was told by my doctor when I was diagnosed that it was from the stress and depression of moving away. He said that it would probably last untill I settled in to a new place. He put me on medications to help which did to a point. Well after being at school for about six months I was just getting worse. I've never really panicked from everyday stress. It's always that I have some sort of health problem that was never there. Well I ended up at a hospital because I had a very bad panic attack and kind of blacked out from it. I was recommended to another doctor. He had me take another prescription to help untill I went home. Well i honestly just started getting even worse. I at one point thought is it really worth it to live this way. I really hit a wall and had a bout of depression. I was 1400 miles from home with no friends, no money, and going to school living in a 5th wheel camper in Arizona. Well I decided I needed a friend or companion. I looked around and I found a puppy that I instantly was attached to. I rescued her from a shelter and she's been my best friend sense. She really changed my outlook on life and has helped me grow up a lot. I do not have depression like I did anymore.
I came back from school and things seemed to be going a little better. I started feeling a little bit like my old self. I still never felt quite right tho. I decided to taper off my medications and was feeling pretty good. Everything had really turned around. I met my fiancé, I got my dream job everything was going great. I then started having the anxiety coming back at full boar. I had it a little bit in that time period but just a little here and there.
I was recommended to a natural doctor by my sister. I started seeing this doctor. after three months of vitamins and supplements I honestly felt cured. I had no problems and felt great for about six months until recent. I went to my other doctor for horrible stomach pains. I was given a urine sample which had blood in it. I then began to have those feelings again. I waited a week to go back and to be checked again to see if there was still blood. The doctor believed it was a infection. There was still blood so he sent me to a urologist. The urologist had me go in for a ct scan a week later. My panic attacks and anxiety were back and worse than ever. I received a call from my doctor saying I had kidney stones but I need to have a ct scan of my chest because I had a nodule show up on my lungs. I had my second ct scan the following week. When I had this ct scan done the hooked me to a I v and put iodine contrast in my blood. Well it turns out I am deathly allergic to the contrast and went into anaphylactic shock. I was in the hospital for a day and it was honestly the scariest thing in my life I have flashbacks time to time of it. I went in the next day to be followed up for the allergic reaction with another doctor because mine was out for the day. He said it would take a couple days to get over the reaction. It actually took about a week. Well at the follow up I asked him what my ct showed. He said that I had 7 lung nodules and that its very odd. He had me tested for a number of things from tb to West Nile virus. All my test came up fine so he said I would need another scan in three months or to do a biopsy. I did not know what he was getting at so I looked online. It was a very bad idea the first thing you see is lung cancer. I always thought if you smoked you were very likely to get it and I smoked when I was younger. You can only imagine what was going thru my head. I spoke with my other doctor a few days later about everything and my anxiety and panic attacks have come back. He prescribed medication again. I could not take them ever sense that allergic reaction I panic thinking about certain foods, medications, even ib prophen. I've been dealing with this for about six months now. I just recently had my third ct scan. I was recommended to a pulmonologist immediately by my doctor. I honestly thought that was it I have cancer. I went to my appointment with this pulmonologist and they were shocked at what had been going on. The radiologist sent a report saying it looked like I had cancer that the nodules increased in size and there were more. He also said I had a enlarged lymph nod. The pulmonologist showed me both ct scans to compare and showed me what was going on. The ct scans had no changes at all and the report said he recommended that they be monitored and that they did not appear to be cancerous. His report also said just the opposite or that and this was all typed on the same paper. This had really ruined my trust in doctors. I wasn't out of the water yet. they wanted to do some tests to make sure it wasn't a lung infection or something of that nature that caused these. After three weeks of waiting they had me do a breathing test. I had the worst panic attack I've ever had during the test but I managed to finish it. After the test I met with the doctor about the results of my blood work and breathing tests. They all came back completely normal. I do have to be monitored for two years its a standard if they find lung nodules. My chance of them being cancer are less then 1% so I feel pretty dang good about that. I actually had a full day of no anxiety or panicking the next day and felt great but I'm still having bad panic or anxiety attacks.
I do know what causes them normally a random pain in my body. I then obsess over it and freak myself out worrying. I'm always thinking about it. From the time I wake up to the time I go to bed I'm constantly in fear that I'm going to have a panic attack, allergic reaction, or random pain that I will obsess over. I have alot of symptoms from my anxiety the tingling in random body parts, the heart attack feeling(which if you check your pulse I've learned will help calm you down if you get trembling feelings), weak, tense muscles, hunger, hyperventilation, and even sick to my stomach.
I went back to my natural doctor and can't overcome the fear of taking pills or vitamins to help my anxiety. I fear the worst at all times. I recently started using meditation which does help calm myself down if I do start panicking. I would really like to over come my fears and hopefully be able to return to my life as it was. Some people really don't understand what it's like to have anxiety like this. My friends are always asking me to come do things but when I've had a panic attack I just have no strength left to get up and move. I do have hope tho and feel I can get better. If anyone has any advice or techniques I could try I would very much appreciate it. Thank you for reading my very long post. it feels good to share me experiences with others and just plain letting out what's on my mind
I hope my sentence structure and punctuation doesn't detour you from reading my long story. I feel that if I don't tell the story of how I got to where I am. It wouldn't do me any good posting.
I was told by my doctor when I was diagnosed that it was from the stress and depression of moving away. He said that it would probably last untill I settled in to a new place. He put me on medications to help which did to a point. Well after being at school for about six months I was just getting worse. I've never really panicked from everyday stress. It's always that I have some sort of health problem that was never there. Well I ended up at a hospital because I had a very bad panic attack and kind of blacked out from it. I was recommended to another doctor. He had me take another prescription to help untill I went home. Well i honestly just started getting even worse. I at one point thought is it really worth it to live this way. I really hit a wall and had a bout of depression. I was 1400 miles from home with no friends, no money, and going to school living in a 5th wheel camper in Arizona. Well I decided I needed a friend or companion. I looked around and I found a puppy that I instantly was attached to. I rescued her from a shelter and she's been my best friend sense. She really changed my outlook on life and has helped me grow up a lot. I do not have depression like I did anymore.
I came back from school and things seemed to be going a little better. I started feeling a little bit like my old self. I still never felt quite right tho. I decided to taper off my medications and was feeling pretty good. Everything had really turned around. I met my fiancé, I got my dream job everything was going great. I then started having the anxiety coming back at full boar. I had it a little bit in that time period but just a little here and there.
I was recommended to a natural doctor by my sister. I started seeing this doctor. after three months of vitamins and supplements I honestly felt cured. I had no problems and felt great for about six months until recent. I went to my other doctor for horrible stomach pains. I was given a urine sample which had blood in it. I then began to have those feelings again. I waited a week to go back and to be checked again to see if there was still blood. The doctor believed it was a infection. There was still blood so he sent me to a urologist. The urologist had me go in for a ct scan a week later. My panic attacks and anxiety were back and worse than ever. I received a call from my doctor saying I had kidney stones but I need to have a ct scan of my chest because I had a nodule show up on my lungs. I had my second ct scan the following week. When I had this ct scan done the hooked me to a I v and put iodine contrast in my blood. Well it turns out I am deathly allergic to the contrast and went into anaphylactic shock. I was in the hospital for a day and it was honestly the scariest thing in my life I have flashbacks time to time of it. I went in the next day to be followed up for the allergic reaction with another doctor because mine was out for the day. He said it would take a couple days to get over the reaction. It actually took about a week. Well at the follow up I asked him what my ct showed. He said that I had 7 lung nodules and that its very odd. He had me tested for a number of things from tb to West Nile virus. All my test came up fine so he said I would need another scan in three months or to do a biopsy. I did not know what he was getting at so I looked online. It was a very bad idea the first thing you see is lung cancer. I always thought if you smoked you were very likely to get it and I smoked when I was younger. You can only imagine what was going thru my head. I spoke with my other doctor a few days later about everything and my anxiety and panic attacks have come back. He prescribed medication again. I could not take them ever sense that allergic reaction I panic thinking about certain foods, medications, even ib prophen. I've been dealing with this for about six months now. I just recently had my third ct scan. I was recommended to a pulmonologist immediately by my doctor. I honestly thought that was it I have cancer. I went to my appointment with this pulmonologist and they were shocked at what had been going on. The radiologist sent a report saying it looked like I had cancer that the nodules increased in size and there were more. He also said I had a enlarged lymph nod. The pulmonologist showed me both ct scans to compare and showed me what was going on. The ct scans had no changes at all and the report said he recommended that they be monitored and that they did not appear to be cancerous. His report also said just the opposite or that and this was all typed on the same paper. This had really ruined my trust in doctors. I wasn't out of the water yet. they wanted to do some tests to make sure it wasn't a lung infection or something of that nature that caused these. After three weeks of waiting they had me do a breathing test. I had the worst panic attack I've ever had during the test but I managed to finish it. After the test I met with the doctor about the results of my blood work and breathing tests. They all came back completely normal. I do have to be monitored for two years its a standard if they find lung nodules. My chance of them being cancer are less then 1% so I feel pretty dang good about that. I actually had a full day of no anxiety or panicking the next day and felt great but I'm still having bad panic or anxiety attacks.
I do know what causes them normally a random pain in my body. I then obsess over it and freak myself out worrying. I'm always thinking about it. From the time I wake up to the time I go to bed I'm constantly in fear that I'm going to have a panic attack, allergic reaction, or random pain that I will obsess over. I have alot of symptoms from my anxiety the tingling in random body parts, the heart attack feeling(which if you check your pulse I've learned will help calm you down if you get trembling feelings), weak, tense muscles, hunger, hyperventilation, and even sick to my stomach.
I went back to my natural doctor and can't overcome the fear of taking pills or vitamins to help my anxiety. I fear the worst at all times. I recently started using meditation which does help calm myself down if I do start panicking. I would really like to over come my fears and hopefully be able to return to my life as it was. Some people really don't understand what it's like to have anxiety like this. My friends are always asking me to come do things but when I've had a panic attack I just have no strength left to get up and move. I do have hope tho and feel I can get better. If anyone has any advice or techniques I could try I would very much appreciate it. Thank you for reading my very long post. it feels good to share me experiences with others and just plain letting out what's on my mind