new here...

[aquascorp]

Hello. I'm 27, and I've struggled with major depression and anxiety since I was in my teens. I'm 27 and I'm going to be 28 in February. I've been on and off various medications since I was 23 (I took it upon myself to see doctors about how I was feeling because no one understands, really). I recently went off wellbutrin a few months ago, because I was tired of stuff not working or trying different,meds. I also dont have insurance and dont qualify for any assistance programs, so doctors visits and meds are out of pocket. I thought, maybe I could try going without meds. I think that was the biggest mistake I could've made. Since I stopped, things have gone downhill. I don't feel like I'm in my body sometimes. Empty. My anxiety is through the roof. My brain feels like a static TV that won't shut off. I'm consumed by worries over everything. I don't want to be around more than just very close friends and even then, I feel like I'm burdening them with my issues. I don't like to go out or be social. I have no motivation to do the things I used to like. I feel incapable of having fun or relaxing. I have absolutely no idea still, what I want to do with my life. I've had three jobs so far this year, because I can't deal with anything or find anything that pays enough. I feel utterly lost and I'm afraid I'm never going to feel ok again. I'm going to try and make a doctors appointment this week and see about going back on medication, possibly one I haven't tried because I really don't want to feel like this ever again. I've been feeling suicidal because I literally cannot visualize a future for myself.

[Lin]

Hello. I'm 27, and I've struggled with major depression and anxiety since I was in my teens. I'm 27 and I'm going to be 28 in February. I've been on and off various medications since I was 23 (I took it upon myself to see doctors about how I was feeling because no one understands, really). I recently went off wellbutrin a few months ago, because I was tired of stuff not working or trying different,meds. I also dont have insurance and dont qualify for any assistance programs, so doctors visits and meds are out of pocket. I thought, maybe I could try going without meds. I think that was the biggest mistake I could've made. Since I stopped, things have gone downhill. I don't feel like I'm in my body sometimes. Empty. My anxiety is through the roof. My brain feels like a static TV that won't shut off. I'm consumed by worries over everything. I don't want to be around more than just very close friends and even then, I feel like I'm burdening them with my issues. I don't like to go out or be social. I have no motivation to do the things I used to like. I feel incapable of having fun or relaxing. I have absolutely no idea still, what I want to do with my life. I've had three jobs so far this year, because I can't deal with anything or find anything that pays enough. I feel utterly lost and I'm afraid I'm never going to feel ok again. I'm going to try and make a doctors appointment this week and see about going back on medication, possibly one I haven't tried because I really don't want to feel like this ever again. I've been feeling suicidal because I literally cannot visualize a future for myself.

So sorry you have been feeling so bad again, and it sounds like you definitely need to see your doctor again and go back on medication. I hope that if you do you get some that really help you to feel better and to find a job you can enjoy, and start to feel better again.

Depression and anxiety are terrible illnesses which are so hard to overcome, but you have been doing well to keep struggling on. Hope you do get some relief from new meds.

[aquascorp]

Thank you, I appreciate that. It's scaring me though because I feel like it's different now and I'm getting older and I'm feeling worse than ever. I'm afraid I'm stuck in this fog and I'll never come out of it. I literally can't see a positive future. Maybe it's because I keep going through the same cycles and wrong meds, and making stupid decisions to stop them abruptly. Does anyone know if cymbalta has a generic and if it's inexpensive and helpful?

[Lin]

Sorry do not know anything about cymbalta, but hopefully someone on this Forum does, and will be able to help you.
Some people do have to live with anxiety and depression all of their lives, but it is learning ways to live with it so that it does not affect your life too badly. Many people manage to live with it and live a very happy life. You just need to find your triggers and your ways of handling them - these are all personal to you, and it is just finding the right things for you and you will be able to live a happy life again, even if you still have to either take meds or use distraction therapies.