MadMed
08-27-2013, 07:55 AM
Lately, I have been feeling anxious about at least something. It's not always the same thing, but it's always something. I'm depressed and honestly don't do much other than play and watch stuff in my room. Recently, there's something that's been killing me whenever I think about it, and that's my sexuality.
Before now, there was no question. I liked women, and there was nothing more to it. But now, I literally have no idea what to think. I can't seem to get aroused by women, even though I know which women I find attractive. When I look at a man, the questioning kicks in and my heart spikes. I start thinking if I am gay, and it raises my temperature, as well as making my heart beat harder, as though I can feel every single beat. I start thinking that this could be the anxiety, or that I have nothing to stimulate my mind and this is the result. And while I have some idea that these can be legitimate reasons, I start thinking that I could just be making excuses for myself. When I'm in this state, I honestly don't know what to think. I start thinking about things logically. For example, when I look at an attractive woman, I can somehow see why they're attractive, be it their face, their legs, etc. When I look at a man in this state, I'm not sure what to think. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I also think that if I am gay, what am I supposed to be attracted to? What about men am I attracted to? Or is it just the anxiety?
I have nothing against homosexuals of any kind. They're human beings and have nothing to be judged for in my opinion. But for me, my sexuality is a huge part of me. I don't know why, but it scares me that I might be a homosexual. I'm not sure why, it just does.
If anyone can help me or at least explain their experience with this, I would appreciate it to no end. I don't have any experience with anxiety. For example, I don't know if I'm thinking I'm gay because of anxiety, or I'm anxious because of these thoughts.
All help greatly appreciated.
EDIT: I couldn't see the original post so I re-posted as a reply.
Before now, there was no question. I liked women, and there was nothing more to it. But now, I literally have no idea what to think. I can't seem to get aroused by women, even though I know which women I find attractive. When I look at a man, the questioning kicks in and my heart spikes. I start thinking if I am gay, and it raises my temperature, as well as making my heart beat harder, as though I can feel every single beat. I start thinking that this could be the anxiety, or that I have nothing to stimulate my mind and this is the result. And while I have some idea that these can be legitimate reasons, I start thinking that I could just be making excuses for myself. When I'm in this state, I honestly don't know what to think. I start thinking about things logically. For example, when I look at an attractive woman, I can somehow see why they're attractive, be it their face, their legs, etc. When I look at a man in this state, I'm not sure what to think. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I also think that if I am gay, what am I supposed to be attracted to? What about men am I attracted to? Or is it just the anxiety?
I have nothing against homosexuals of any kind. They're human beings and have nothing to be judged for in my opinion. But for me, my sexuality is a huge part of me. I don't know why, but it scares me that I might be a homosexual. I'm not sure why, it just does.
If anyone can help me or at least explain their experience with this, I would appreciate it to no end. I don't have any experience with anxiety. For example, I don't know if I'm thinking I'm gay because of anxiety, or I'm anxious because of these thoughts.
All help greatly appreciated.
EDIT: I couldn't see the original post so I re-posted as a reply.