jakurtis
08-26-2013, 08:35 PM
For my whole life, I have struggled. I kind of go through a cycle that involves near constant anxiety until I get super depressed and it happens almost every day. Maybe once or twice a week I have these moments where I am so confident, I feel like I am almost like a god ( I know I am not, and I don't mean to offend anyone, it's just exactly how I feel) and I do ridiculous things that the normal me wouldn't, but it's because I know I'm not being anxious, and I know I have the ability to do it. Besides these wonderful boosts, I am anxious. When I say anxious, I mean I have shaky body parts, little control, I'm sweaty, my thoughts zoom by, I can't focus or concentrate, i say the first things that come to my mind, and I am very weak. What I don't understand is that I don't neccassarily worry. I may be driving and it's as if I forgot how to drive; I don't remember how fast to break when I see a stop sign, I get very jumpy and nervous when someone drives by me, when someone passes me, or when I drive in crowded places. I have not ever told my parents, because I have hoped to overcome this by myself, but no amount of self-talk can help me get through this. I tried to talk to a therapist, but he only kept asking me what I worried about, but I couldn't tell him, because as far as I could understand, I didn't worry. My anxiety seems so random and out of place. I know it's definitely worse around people, if that helps. I'm tired of suffering. I can't pay attention at school, and I must be valedictorian in order to achieve my goal of becoming a vet. The best way I can describe my problem, is that it's almost like anything can throw me off guard, and then I forget how to do something. I have recently talked to a doctor and am taking cerenity, in hopes of overcoming my anxiety. Has anyone else had this problem? If you have any ideas on how to help, please leave your suggestions! Idk what to do anymore, I'm so tired of being depressed.