worriedaboutbs
11-05-2007, 11:21 AM
hi all. i'm pretty much a classic case of someone with an anxiety disorder. really, i don't have much to worry about aside from the typical day to day stresses, and i am conscious of this, but for some reason, i allow myself to get sucked into this web of absolutely debilitating worry. sometimes in my sleep i'm frozen and am certain i'm dead, and then i can snap out of it. im not really a 'scared' person, i love social settings and get along very well with people. i'm outgoing, confident and quite intelligent, but i've been plagued with this "fear" for a while.
i'm an american living in england for work and i work and live in my flat by myself. i realize that this is probably a HUGE catalyst for the anxiety as i only sit here by myself, untouched by regular outside influences, and i have all the time in the world to sit here and focus on the pain in my ear that i convince myself is a brain tumor trying to burst. i'm not kidding, it gets that ridiculous.
i think the the fact that i'm fairly wound up causes me to drink quite a lot. when i drink alcohol, i finally am able to relax... but i know that this is a huge cause OF the anxiety, which is, i'm fairly sure today, is what IS causing my anxiety. i would say most of the time i drink a bottle of red wine a night. i had a big weekend as well, and was hungover for most of it. not drinking last night and instead taking a sleeping pill, has pretty much left me feeling very low, very depressed and very anxious TODAY. i'm pretty sure that i will feel better tomorrow. i bought some over the counter herbal anxiety pills which aren't really helping but i am feeling better. but i am still a bit shaky, have a few waves of butterflies in my stomach, don't have much of an appetite and my vision is blurred (maybe for real, maybe it's just in my head). i don't really know what to do, i know i'm not in need of a doctor, i've gone to the hospital a few times thinking that i'm having a heart attack (i am 27/female), but of course it's just down to anxiety and in some cases, severe panic attacks. they're awful. i just hate that FEAR that sets in without being able to get a grip on what is going on and how to overcome it.
anyway, don't really know what the point of my writing this is, but it sure feels good to vent a bit, and hopefully some of you experience the same thing and can offer some tips. it is not my intention to start medication, as i fear the side effects could be far worse than just dealing with the problem from within, at the core.
thanks for listening.
i'm an american living in england for work and i work and live in my flat by myself. i realize that this is probably a HUGE catalyst for the anxiety as i only sit here by myself, untouched by regular outside influences, and i have all the time in the world to sit here and focus on the pain in my ear that i convince myself is a brain tumor trying to burst. i'm not kidding, it gets that ridiculous.
i think the the fact that i'm fairly wound up causes me to drink quite a lot. when i drink alcohol, i finally am able to relax... but i know that this is a huge cause OF the anxiety, which is, i'm fairly sure today, is what IS causing my anxiety. i would say most of the time i drink a bottle of red wine a night. i had a big weekend as well, and was hungover for most of it. not drinking last night and instead taking a sleeping pill, has pretty much left me feeling very low, very depressed and very anxious TODAY. i'm pretty sure that i will feel better tomorrow. i bought some over the counter herbal anxiety pills which aren't really helping but i am feeling better. but i am still a bit shaky, have a few waves of butterflies in my stomach, don't have much of an appetite and my vision is blurred (maybe for real, maybe it's just in my head). i don't really know what to do, i know i'm not in need of a doctor, i've gone to the hospital a few times thinking that i'm having a heart attack (i am 27/female), but of course it's just down to anxiety and in some cases, severe panic attacks. they're awful. i just hate that FEAR that sets in without being able to get a grip on what is going on and how to overcome it.
anyway, don't really know what the point of my writing this is, but it sure feels good to vent a bit, and hopefully some of you experience the same thing and can offer some tips. it is not my intention to start medication, as i fear the side effects could be far worse than just dealing with the problem from within, at the core.
thanks for listening.