steve92
08-24-2013, 03:05 AM
Hi my name is Steve, I’m 21 years old and I currently suffer from depression and social anxiety. I’m slowly overcoming both of these, through seeing a psychologist/ psychiatrist along with taking 1 tablet a day of Lexapro. I’ve finished seeing my therapist and I am now currently just taking Lexapro daily. Although I don’t feel as bad as I used to, I still feel flat most of the time and feel as if everything around me is pointless. I’m extremely self-conscious of the way I look, so if I have a spot on my face, bad hair day etc. I will literally stay in my room all day (which I generally do anyways) and refuse to go out. I still live at home, however next year in July I’m going back to the UK where I’m from to go to university for 3 years.
Not going to go into my whole life story as I’d be here for days lol, but I’d like to share one of the events in my life which has had a major impact on me, which contributed towards my depression and social anxiety. I was taken away from my parents at the age of 10 and put into foster care. A court order was made where I wasn’t allowed to see my dad for 8 years and only got to see my mum once a year. When I was 16 my foster placement which I was at for 6 years broke up, they suddenly decided they didn’t want me anymore, which resulted in me running away from them when they weren’t at home. I ran to my nans who I hadn’t seen in 5 years. I was still under a care order at the time so couldn’t be with my parents until I was 18 so 2 years left. That two year period at my nans, I spent in pure and utter isolation in my room. I isolated myself from everyone, my friends, relatives everything and everyone. I’d go to bed at 6-7am and wake up at 5-6pm. I’d not eat properly; go outside like once every two weeks if that. To be fair that was when I was at my worst and in a complete slump. It has had a huge impact on my confidence, self-esteem and perception of life. Throughout that whole period I had no one to talk to or confide in. I’m nowhere near as bad as that anymore, however I am still self-conscious and suffer from low self-esteem/confidence.
Being completely honest, I actually have no friends, like literally 0 friends in real life. Mostly because I’m shy, I don’t go out and I just don’t really make the effort. I don’t have a job because I am usually terrified of being in a social situation for too long, or being around the unexpected. When I go back to the UK and start university I really want that to change. I want to be able to talk to people, make friends and just be around people comfortably. I was just hoping that anyone with similar experiences would be able to give me advice on how I can go about becoming more confident in myself. Meeting new people, making friends etc. I really do struggle talking to people, I stutter my words, get speechless, hot flusters and awkwardness.
Thanks for taking the time to read this!
I’m happy to answer anything if anyone has any questions or concerns etc.
Steve
Not going to go into my whole life story as I’d be here for days lol, but I’d like to share one of the events in my life which has had a major impact on me, which contributed towards my depression and social anxiety. I was taken away from my parents at the age of 10 and put into foster care. A court order was made where I wasn’t allowed to see my dad for 8 years and only got to see my mum once a year. When I was 16 my foster placement which I was at for 6 years broke up, they suddenly decided they didn’t want me anymore, which resulted in me running away from them when they weren’t at home. I ran to my nans who I hadn’t seen in 5 years. I was still under a care order at the time so couldn’t be with my parents until I was 18 so 2 years left. That two year period at my nans, I spent in pure and utter isolation in my room. I isolated myself from everyone, my friends, relatives everything and everyone. I’d go to bed at 6-7am and wake up at 5-6pm. I’d not eat properly; go outside like once every two weeks if that. To be fair that was when I was at my worst and in a complete slump. It has had a huge impact on my confidence, self-esteem and perception of life. Throughout that whole period I had no one to talk to or confide in. I’m nowhere near as bad as that anymore, however I am still self-conscious and suffer from low self-esteem/confidence.
Being completely honest, I actually have no friends, like literally 0 friends in real life. Mostly because I’m shy, I don’t go out and I just don’t really make the effort. I don’t have a job because I am usually terrified of being in a social situation for too long, or being around the unexpected. When I go back to the UK and start university I really want that to change. I want to be able to talk to people, make friends and just be around people comfortably. I was just hoping that anyone with similar experiences would be able to give me advice on how I can go about becoming more confident in myself. Meeting new people, making friends etc. I really do struggle talking to people, I stutter my words, get speechless, hot flusters and awkwardness.
Thanks for taking the time to read this!
I’m happy to answer anything if anyone has any questions or concerns etc.
Steve