its never ending

[sazco]

i stay strong i go out and do the things i need to do.
but suffering from this anxiety of people is driving me nuts. i need money and i need to work with people. my stomach aches right now. its always nervous. if i only drink water my stomach hurts if i drink soda it hurts and it seems like i cant win. i just want to smash this fear and ruin it so it never comes back. what are your suggestions?

[Sockpuppet]

I totally feel your pain! I hate that I feel so fearful around people, it's horrible. I just want to run away and hide. I get this feeling in my stomach that feels like its about to drop out and I have persistent tension in my head, neck and shoulders. I had been on meds before I was pregnant but was working a very stressful job (lots of people interaction) and now I've had the baby Im an anxious mess. Sorry am not much help. Have you tried counselling/CBT?

[sazco]

I totally feel your pain! I hate that I feel so fearful around people, it's horrible. I just want to run away and hide. I get this feeling in my stomach that feels like its about to drop out and I have persistent tension in my head, neck and shoulders. I had been on meds before I was pregnant but was working a very stressful job (lots of people interaction) and now I've had the baby Im an anxious mess. Sorry am not much help. Have you tried counselling/CBT?

I have not. Have no real way to get anywhere unless I walk or find a job first. Have you?

[Sockpuppet]

Had intro session last week and start this Tuesday, will keep you posted. Just found a site (looks to be a free CBT program in module format) haven't had a good look but seems ok from the first module. Am just so sick of being scared of people, at least this forum allows us to vent/connect/discuss what it's like. People who don't suffer anxiety struggle to understand how consuming and challenging it is. Damn! Just tried to paste but don't have enough posts!! Can pm if interested

[sazco]

Had intro session last week and start this Tuesday, will keep you posted. Just found a site (looks to be a free CBT program in module format) haven't had a good look but seems ok from the first module. Am just so sick of being scared of people, at least this forum allows us to vent/connect/discuss what it's like. People who don't suffer anxiety struggle to understand how consuming and challenging it is. Damn! Just tried to paste but don't have enough posts!! Can pm if interested

I watched a video on ytube yesterday about this man explaining how self-image and self-esteem play a huge role in how anxious you get. He says that if you think good about yourself you won't worry as much. This seems to be true I've been doing pretty well today.

[Sockpuppet]

That's great to hear! I love it when you have a 'win' and totally agree with you about the self esteem thing. Anxiety and low self esteem seem to go hand in hand. Food for thought hey!

[sazco]

That's great to hear! I love it when you have a 'win' and totally agree with you about the self esteem thing. Anxiety and low self esteem seem to go hand in hand. Food for thought hey!

What ive been writing is "people see me as calm and confident because i am. people see me as cool because i am. people see me as a winner because i am." phrases like that.

[Lord Jazzinho]

i stay strong i go out and do the things i need to do.
but suffering from this anxiety of people is driving me nuts. i need money and i need to work with people. my stomach aches right now. its always nervous. if i only drink water my stomach hurts if i drink soda it hurts and it seems like i cant win. i just want to smash this fear and ruin it so it never comes back. what are your suggestions?

The only I way I can see to smash anxiety is to face it head on, if you were to do this you would be putting yourself in a fifty/fifty situation on one hand you may succeed and the anxiety may be blown way for a time on the other hand you could fail then your anxiety would be strongly reinforced. Think about we build and feed anxiety, it grows and grows getting bigger and bigger becoming a habit and the only way we know how to deal with the things that confront us. Now it is the big bully in our minds with an arsenal of weapons that he uses to stress, worry and undermine us every chance he gets. You have to change your perspective. In my experience the best way to deal with anxiety is to dismantle it, to take it apart piece by making it smaller and smaller by starving it and combating it with your own weapons. In order to do this you need to identify the specific things that make you anxious (the triggers) e.g. If you were to try and describe anxiety as a question that question would be "What if?" "what if this happens?, what if they think this?" But when you change your perspective you discover that the answer to "What if?"is"So What!" "So what if this happens I will deal with if it happens, So What if they think this who the hell are they anyway!".Once you find your triggers you can can begin to try to starve your anxiety, once you find your own "So What" you have a weapon to combat it with. Until I learned this the Bully was to strong and I hid from him for 12 years but when I began to stave the fucker by not doing things that made me anxious like watching the news and then later hit him with "So what" I realised that he was just a big balloon full of hot air.
Hope this helps

[Lord Jazzinho]

The only I way I can see to smash anxiety is to face it head on, if you were to do this you would be putting yourself in a fifty/fifty situation on one hand you may succeed and the anxiety may be blown way for a time on the other hand you could fail then your anxiety would be strongly reinforced. Think about we build and feed anxiety, it grows and grows getting bigger and bigger becoming a habit and the only way we know how to deal with the things that confront us. Now it is the big bully in our minds with an arsenal of weapons that he uses to stress, worry and undermine us every chance he gets. You have to change your perspective. In my experience the best way to deal with anxiety is to dismantle it, to take it apart piece by making it smaller and smaller by starving it and combating it with your own weapons. In order to do this you need to identify the specific things that make you anxious (the triggers) e.g. If you were to try and describe anxiety as a question that question would be "What if?" "what if this happens?, what if they think this?" But when you change your perspective you discover that the answer to "What if?"is"So What!" "So what if this happens I will deal with if it happens, So What if they think this who the hell are they anyway!".Once you find your triggers you can can begin to try to starve your anxiety, once you find your own "So What" you have a weapon to combat it with. Until I learned this the Bully was to strong and I hid from him for 12 years but when I began to stave the fucker by not doing things that made me anxious like watching the news and then later hit him with "So what" I realised that he was just a big balloon full of hot air.
Hope this helps

Lol it took me 4 attempts to get this answer up but still its the best draft

[Sockpuppet]

Wow that's some cool shit! I totally agree if you can starve the thoughts, in whatever way, the anxiety decreases.

Just an update -I finished the CBT course and it was great to meet other anxious peeps in the flesh. That was the most empowering moment, just knowing others felt the same was a huge relief (as is this forum!) We worked through a great module week by week (& with homework) and learnt quite a few tools to help with intrusive/persistent negative thoughts.

The best help came with regular, daily breathing exercises and completing thought diaries. We just had our final meeting after a months break and the most helpful thing I took away was to remember to not believe the thoughts you have when you are anxious. It can be so familiar - the feelings that you have & therefore believe what your brain tells you WHILST you are feeling anxious. Of course it's always much easier to dispell the negative thoughts after the anxiety passes. One of the course leaders repeated 'remember they are feelings not facts' and that resonated with me!

So whilst I've come a helluva long way (& with personal counselling sessions as well) I know it's about maintenance and remembering I have tools in my pack that can help. You can't unlearn what you know!!

Currently am experiencing quite high levels of anxiety as Im returning to work, but am taking each moment as it comes and reminding myself that because I feel anxious it doesn't mean Im not worthy or incapable (clearly still working on self esteem!) Also never really occurred to me I struggle with change so much, definitely something to be mindful of.

This place has been such a godsend and has shown what a large community of us there really is. I always felt like I was the only one but reading each post always makes me feel better.

[Lord Jazzinho]

Wow that's some cool shit! I totally agree if you can starve the thoughts, in whatever way, the anxiety decreases.

Just an update -I finished the CBT course and it was great to meet other anxious peeps in the flesh. That was the most empowering moment, just knowing others felt the same was a huge relief (as is this forum!) We worked through a great module week by week (& with homework) and learnt quite a few tools to help with intrusive/persistent negative thoughts.

The best help came with regular, daily breathing exercises and completing thought diaries. We just had our final meeting after a months break and the most helpful thing I took away was to remember to not believe the thoughts you have when you are anxious. It can be so familiar - the feelings that you have & therefore believe what your brain tells you WHILST you are feeling anxious. Of course it's always much easier to dispell the negative thoughts after the anxiety passes. One of the course leaders repeated 'remember they are feelings not facts' and that resonated with me!

So whilst I've come a helluva long way (& with personal counselling sessions as well) I know it's about maintenance and remembering I have tools in my pack that can help. You can't unlearn what you know!!

Currently am experiencing quite high levels of anxiety as Im returning to work, but am taking each moment as it comes and reminding myself that because I feel anxious it doesn't mean Im not worthy or incapable (clearly still working on self esteem!) Also never really occurred to me I struggle with change so much, definitely something to be mindful of.

This place has been such a godsend and has shown what a large community of us there really is. I always felt like I was the only one but reading each post always makes me feel better.

There are many myths that are perpetuated in our culture today and one of is that feelings are the be all and end all for human beings and of course this is not true. A lot of people now-a-days have become slaves to there feelings. I've always thought that the brain is on top for a reason. Glad to see that you are feeling empowered cos that is the surest to defeat anxiety, in many ways anxiety is the nemesis to empowerment so it follows that it works the other way to. :)