I feel like I'm losing it....

[Jenn1975]

Hi,

I am new here and not sure where this should be posted. I'm looking for feedback.
Thanks :-)

So, here's my story. I was diagnosed with GAD and Panic Disorder approximately 15 years ago. I was having horrible panic attacks and afraid of EVERYTHING. Through therapy and medication, I got it under control and things were good.
Skip to present day, about a year ago, I moved in with my fiancee and his troubled 6 year old son who is snotty and has these AWFUL temper tantrums daily. Slowly, my anxiety creeped back in and now I feel like I'm on a downward spiral. I'm back to really bad physical anxiety symptoms, irrational fears and bad thoughts. None of my old tricks seem to be working to control it now. I don't know if the current living situation has triggered it or how to control it at this point. I don't want to get out of bed anymore because it's the only place I feel safe. I am still taking my meds, but they don't seem to be helping.

Any feedback or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

[JLBnole68]

Hi Jenn, I sort of followed the same path. I had bad anxiety years ago, got it under control and then it came back. Mine was triggered for other reasons (worrying about my parents' health, job instability, etc). Getting back on medication has helped tremendously (I take Lexapro). The attacks are less frequent although they haven't disappeared entirely. I found that exercise helps and so does keeping my mind occupied with other things. As for your situation, have you tried to fully explain what his son's behavior is doing to you? If he was receptive to getting his kid's tantrums under control, then help him find help for his son. You need to consider that this is a package deal before getting married. The kid's not going anywhere, so if it's affecting your health this adversely, you might want to think about that before stepping into a situation you can't easily get out of. And there's no guarantee that his son's behavior will change, especially if the kid harbors any resentment towards his parents being divorced. I wish you the best, but sometimes you need to step back and consider your own health and sanity. Being sick will make you feel resentful over time.

[Jenn1975]

Thank you for your post.
His son is in therapy, which has controlled his hitting at least. I kind of get a suck it up, youre doing this to yourself vibe from my fiancee. The wedding date is waaaaay out, so I do have some time.
I am going to try taking walks at night to see if that helps and possibly go back to therapy.
Have you been able to get your anxiety in check again?

[JLBnole68]

Well, I know you love your fiancée, but you have to consider your long-term health and sanity, too. It's good that his son is in therapy, but he needs to understand how it's affecting you as well. Hope everything works out for the best. Yes, I've been able to get my anxiety back in check most days. It flares up once in a while, but my panic attacks are getting less frequent and severe. The Lexapro has helped tremendously coupled with regular exercise. Plus, I've learned that it's ok not to take on more at one time than I can handle physically or mentally. Sometimes, the word "no" can be a powerful ally.

[Jenn1975]

I'm glad you are doing better :).
Yeah, no is a word I need to learn to use a wee bit more LOL