antsycat
11-01-2007, 11:35 PM
A lifetime of anxiety here, probably due to my parents constantly criticizing me as a child, as well as genetics. I've heard lots paranoia stories about my grandfather and grew up feeling the wrath of my father's silent and angry mood swings. Dad was withdrawn and paranoid as well, always thinking that others were out to get him and often drowning his anxieties with alcohol. Now it's my turn. Wish I had inherited money! :lol:
I can fake being social at a party or gathering for about 5 minutes, and then I'm exhausted from the extreme effort. Then, I fall into the dreadful thinking that everyone is criticizing me. Every whisper or word I overhear is distorted to confirm what I know that someone is saying about me. Every time someone looked my way, I was sure that person was talking trash about me, even though they'd just met me.
I was self-concious about a part of my face so I dreamt of plastic surgery for 20 years until I was finally able to afford it. I spent most of my life hiding my face, averting my eyes, and feeling the sting of other people's eyes staring at that part of my face. After the surgery and painful recovery, my self-confidence improved temporarily until I found another problem with my face to obsess about and feel self-concious about. Now, I'm back to hiding my face again.
Hello! Did I find the right forum?
I can fake being social at a party or gathering for about 5 minutes, and then I'm exhausted from the extreme effort. Then, I fall into the dreadful thinking that everyone is criticizing me. Every whisper or word I overhear is distorted to confirm what I know that someone is saying about me. Every time someone looked my way, I was sure that person was talking trash about me, even though they'd just met me.
I was self-concious about a part of my face so I dreamt of plastic surgery for 20 years until I was finally able to afford it. I spent most of my life hiding my face, averting my eyes, and feeling the sting of other people's eyes staring at that part of my face. After the surgery and painful recovery, my self-confidence improved temporarily until I found another problem with my face to obsess about and feel self-concious about. Now, I'm back to hiding my face again.
Hello! Did I find the right forum?