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View Full Version : Dependent, Unemployed, Depressed.



beachymg
08-19-2013, 12:59 AM
So I've been depressed for a while because of my unemployment and financial issues. I lost my job when my Green Card application was voided because of my divorce a year ago. My work visa expired and now I have to apply for a new visa that's not affordable. I've been living with my boyfriend and he's the one that's been taking care of me and my son. My ex-husband and I both have custody so we take turns in taking care of him. I constantly have to tell myself that it will be OK in the end and that it just takes time. However, everyday, I am reminded of how shitty my situation is. All my friends work and have money to support themselves. I have absolutely nothing. I mean nothing. At my age of 26 I wanted to have a career and just be settled. I'm so dependent on my boyfriend that I feel like such a burden to him. It doesn't help that my family is constantly asking me for money. They ask because they think my boyfriend has extra cash to be handing out. Which is not the case. He makes enough to have a comfortable living situation for the three of us. It's also really embarrassing that my family thinks that way. It adds so much more stress. It kills me ask my boyfriend for money. The anxiety kicks in hard when I have to ask him for money. So, recently I asked him if we could help my mom on processing her green card. My sister offered to help her in the beginning, but she all of a sudden just dropped out and stopped helping her. Even though it was all her idea in the beginning. So now my mom's left with all these documents and no money to file it. Of course, I have every intention to always help my family. I'm just not in the position of helping them financially. He said he'll help. But I know he really doesn't want to. I know he has his reasons. Which is fine. The money we're using to help my mom is suppose to go on my work visa so I can work and travel. So I'll have to wait longer to work. I just wish I didn't have to depend on anyone. I just hate it so much. This has been the main reason of my depression. There are days when I come home from lunch with friends and just start crying. Hard. I sit at home every day of the week and just hate on my situation. I try so hard to think of the positive things. I work out, I try to stay busy with volunteering, I try to surround myself with positive people, but in the end, I STILL don't have a job! I can laugh a little when I say that, because it's pretty ridiculous.

sazco
08-19-2013, 02:21 AM
thats how i feel too but feeling bad about it won't get you a job any quicker. u need to train yourself to turn that negativity to positivity for the meantime or you wont feel better.

i can give you tips if youd like. writing your feelings out helps me. ive been repeating to myself "i am strong. nothing can stop me. im looking for a job and i will get a bunch of nos but one day ill get the yes i deserve."

im glad to hear your bf is helping you out the fact that you feel like a burden is good it means you are grateful in a way. but dont dwell on it. you can stay busy and theres a lot you can do until your situation gets better.

never ever give up. you must have hope and believe it will get better. dont waste precious time being sad when you can be happy for your child. its hard now but its a challenge. just a challenge that you can win. and one you know you can face with a smile on your face.

beachymg
08-19-2013, 05:20 AM
You're right. I need to train my brain to think more positive thoughts and no negative. Thanks

sazco
08-19-2013, 06:17 AM
You're right. I need to train my brain to think more positive thoughts and no negative. Thanks

no problem :) hope shit goes well