Peak
08-14-2013, 09:05 AM
I'm not having the best of times at the moment.
I went to see my GP last week as I was getting a few pains in a region that only males have if you see what I mean. I didn't really think it was anything serious but just wanted to be sure and she said that in her opinion there was nothing to be concerned about but would refer me for an ultrasound just to be sure. That was fine, I don't really feel that concerned with it, I don't really think that there is anything wrong but I guess it does play on my mind a little. The trouble is she asked a lot of questions as part of her examination and one of them was about bowel movements. I did say to her that they hadn't really been 'normal' for a number of years but always had put that down to being very over weight, eating rubbish etc and when I have dieted and lost weight things in this area have improved but never been perfect. Unfortunately it was just a throw away comment by her that has triggered my anxiety a lot.
She just said "well probably should check that out" and then moved onto other things and it was never spoken of again. Since that moment I've been fretting over this and now am increasingly anxious that I have bowel cancer. I know as I write this that I'm making a big leap here, that I'm not really being rational but it's the fact that it's gone on for so long, I'm talking years, that makes me rule out all those benign things. I've fallen into old habits of googling symptoms etc and that is just making things worse. I know I shouldn't do it but I feel compelled to. Some of the things I read reassure me that it's not Cancer, other things I read make me feel that it is. I've going back to the docs on Friday for some more tests anyway and I know I should talk to her about this as well but also I don't want to because of the fear of being right. In other words without being checked out there is always a 50% chance I'm wrong but if I do get checked out it's going to be 100% one way or another. I can handle being told it's nothing, I don't think I could cope with the other.
I went to see my GP last week as I was getting a few pains in a region that only males have if you see what I mean. I didn't really think it was anything serious but just wanted to be sure and she said that in her opinion there was nothing to be concerned about but would refer me for an ultrasound just to be sure. That was fine, I don't really feel that concerned with it, I don't really think that there is anything wrong but I guess it does play on my mind a little. The trouble is she asked a lot of questions as part of her examination and one of them was about bowel movements. I did say to her that they hadn't really been 'normal' for a number of years but always had put that down to being very over weight, eating rubbish etc and when I have dieted and lost weight things in this area have improved but never been perfect. Unfortunately it was just a throw away comment by her that has triggered my anxiety a lot.
She just said "well probably should check that out" and then moved onto other things and it was never spoken of again. Since that moment I've been fretting over this and now am increasingly anxious that I have bowel cancer. I know as I write this that I'm making a big leap here, that I'm not really being rational but it's the fact that it's gone on for so long, I'm talking years, that makes me rule out all those benign things. I've fallen into old habits of googling symptoms etc and that is just making things worse. I know I shouldn't do it but I feel compelled to. Some of the things I read reassure me that it's not Cancer, other things I read make me feel that it is. I've going back to the docs on Friday for some more tests anyway and I know I should talk to her about this as well but also I don't want to because of the fear of being right. In other words without being checked out there is always a 50% chance I'm wrong but if I do get checked out it's going to be 100% one way or another. I can handle being told it's nothing, I don't think I could cope with the other.