anxiety for a relationship

[ibelieve]

I met my girlfriend on craigslist after I posted an ad looking for casual sex. After we had sex she came up with the idea to have a relationship. I said yes, why not. I'm mexican born and raised the first 40 years at Mexico. I'm divorced I'm 58 but I look like 49 and she's 32 bbw but kind of pretty white woman.
So we started hanging out. She told me she contacted other guys but she only had sex with me so she told never saw these guys anymore. She's divorced with 2 daughters from 2 diferents guys. The first time she got drunk with me she told me she've been through lot's guys and some bisexual casual sex too. But she told she won't cheat me or flirt with anyone if she is in a relationship with me.
The fact is so far I don't know how to deal with her because I've been feeling lately some insecurity about her conduct. She has a couple girlfriends who are cheating their boyfriends with more than one guys . Even that, she remark she won't cheat me or will unloyal to me. Since I'm in this relation my anxiety is higher than never because sometimes I can see her due she's mom and she tells she needs some space to be with their kids. Though most of the time we spent the weekends at her home having sex and looks like that's what is more important for her so far from me. I'm seeing a counselor but honestly I haven't had a girlfriend so liberal before and even less american white woman. I'm a little scare about this relation because everytime I want to be with her more and more time but she's feeling a little bit suffocated for this and all of this raises my anxiety level. Comments will be appreciated. Thanks

[Kevcules]

Your spider senses are tingling for a reason. I think you know exactly what's going on with her and just be prepared for it. It's hard to get attached when you know their past and suspect the same for the future. Of course she will say she will be faithful, so you stick around! It sounds like casuaa sex is what she wants and if you're cool with that...go for it. :)
I'm seeing a girl now who is 14 yrs younger than me and we're both married and not happy at home.(Im 45... look 35...:)) I've heard her past too and like you say "liberal" , I've not been with a girl who isn't sexually shy at all like her! It's hard to tell each other we will both be faithful and we have ,because we're both not being that now?? Go with your gut.....It's all we can do! Take Care!

[autumnbee123]

Okay, no offense. Don't take a cheaters advice. If you're cheating, why the hell stay in a relationship. You're only making it worse. And does your wife know you post it freely online? I feel bad for you and your wife. But it's disgusting. Marriage is nothing to go against. If you're unhappy don't make your wife suffer. ANYWAYS. She has kids, she might actually want space to spend time with them. This isn't really something to be so worked up about. I'm really untrusting in relationships so I know how you feel. I always would worry about if my significant other was cheating. With no real reason or evidence. It just sounds to me like she's a single independent mother who has gotten fucked over by men. She might not want to get too close until she feels comfortable enough to know that she's not gonna get hurt again. Think about being in her shoes. She did her running around and seen what there is to be seen. Try thinking from an outside perspective and look at the big picture. Do you want a relationship? How does she tell you she feels about it? Just think that how you feel about her as a person isn't how she is now. It's the past.

[Kevcules]

IF you're talking about me ....... How can I not take offense to that? My few words to you are "mind your own business!" Don't judge me or anyone else on here because you know nothing about us and besides.... I didn't ask you what you thought! No situation is cut and dry. Life is difficult at the best of times but again, I know I at least didn't ask you what your opinion was on my situation.
To the original poster.....take anyones advice that makes sense to you. We're not "all" here to please everyone!
Good luck to you!

[autumnbee123]

Mind my own business on a public forum. Don't air your dirty laundry out if you aren't wanting to have some feedback. I was just saying cheating on your wife and worrying about your "girlfriend" sleeping with other guys whilst she's married as well is hypocritical. I think you need counseling. I hope your wife knows what you're doing. And if she doesn't I wish I could tell her you post it all over a public forum.

[manz82]

Your spider senses are tingling for a reason. I think you know exactly what's going on with her and just be prepared for it. It's hard to get attached when you know their past and suspect the same for the future. Of course she will say she will be faithful, so you stick around! It sounds like casuaa sex is what she wants and if you're cool with that...go for it. :)
I'm seeing a girl now who is 14 yrs younger than me and we're both married and not happy at home.(Im 45... look 35...:)) I've heard her past too and like you say "liberal" , I've not been with a girl who isn't sexually shy at all like her! It's hard to tell each other we will both be faithful and we have ,because we're both not being that now?? Go with your gut.....It's all we can do! Take Care!

Don't admit adultery on here if you don't want any come back. I think what you're doing to your wife is shitty and cowardly.
If you're not happy, leave - don't make a neat square a triangle!
And before you tell me to 'mind my own business' let me just inform you that one of the biggest reasons I struggle with anxiety and panic is because my husband did to me what you are doing to your wife, except he went one better and left me when I was seven months pregnant.
You must have loved your wife to marry her, right?
So if you still have even a shred of respect for the woman, either end it with your dirty bit on the side and make a go of it with your wife, or leave her and give her a chance to find someone who will love her like she deserves.

[autumnbee123]

Don't admit adultery on here if you don't want any come back. I think what you're doing to your wife is shitty and cowardly.
If you're not happy, leave - don't make a neat square a triangle!
And before you tell me to 'mind my own business' let me just inform you that one of the biggest reasons I struggle with anxiety and panic is because my husband did to me what you are doing to your wife, except he went one better and left me when I was seven months pregnant.
You must have loved your wife to marry her, right?
So if you still have even a shred of respect for the woman, either end it with your dirty bit on the side and make a go of it with your wife, or leave her and give her a chance to find someone who will love her like she deserves.

THANK YOU! I'm sorry to hear about that, but you'll find someone who truly deserves your love. No one deserves to be cheated on. EVER. I've seen the devastation and hurt in someone after they've been cheated on. It's terrible and he has no idea what he's doing to his wife, his FAMILY. If you have kids with your wife your fucking your kid's life as well! Believe me I know. I watched my dad do it to my mom. They were married for 17 years. Have 4 kids together, me being the youngest. And cheated on my mom and got another woman PREGNANT. He totally abandoned us and fucked my life and my whole family's life up. The root of my anxiety is this.

[manz82]

Me and my husband are actually back together and the affair happened almost eight years ago. He has more than made up for what he did and is now my rock. But he realised that as his WIFE I didnt deserve the shit he put me through and he ditched the SLUT who almost tour my world apart.
As you can imagine, it's not been plain sailing and I still have my moments when I think of what he did that I want to rip his throat out, but he is still here and still proving to me everyday that our VOWS meant something and still do!
If only everyone in marriages would remember their vows, maybe there would be a lot less heartache...