kilmarnock37
08-12-2013, 08:39 PM
its now 3.38 am here in sunny scotland(sarcasm)i havent slept a wink all nite ive been up since 8am,my anxiety is going through the roof,not let up much all day,i now have pain in my left wrist,my chest,shortness of breath..you all know the usual shite we all deal with on a daily basis.yeah yeah the heart attack panick attack again.i know im not having a heart attack and wont as im on here typing away.my heart is strong,had all the latest test and results from the doctor again cos i reckoned i was dying.again..its all clear and my wee heart is beating like a drum.not in a bad way tho......im really at my wits end its getting me so down and making me so angry..anxiety is ruining my life.its flying past my eyes and as much as i want to i cant grab it and enjoy it.i hardly do anything,i hardly go out.and when i do its as quick as i can get done what i have to and get back in to feel relief and safety..this anxiety is ruining my life.im so sorry i just needed to vent my anger and frustration at this horrid debilitating condition.i want to get better .i try to get better but yet its something new every month or week or day or year.our mind is a powerful horrible machine sometimes and others beautiful the thing that sets us apart from the animals.irrational thoughts,thoughts of pain and death and anxiety the usual shit that never ever does actually happen,its all just a game our chemically inbalanced brains are playing on us.sometimes i just want life to be over for just that calm normal peaceful feeling that we all strive so hard to find on a daily basis.if you do read this i apologyse ,i just needed to vent my frustrations,which i have done.please feel free to do the same as i have.in a strange way it has made me a wee bit better.best wishes and hellos to you all(ps anxiety has been in my life for 19 years im now 37..more than half my exsistance)