Irrational thoughts completely out of control!

[SleeplessInPA]

My irrational thoughts have reached a new level! This is very personal but I need to share...

I finished my Masters degree about 2 years ago, needless to say my student loans are a small mortgage. I was hoping to get a new job, but I think we are all aware of this crappy job market. Last year my current company cut our salary 10% and more recently took away our bonus plan. I've decided that I need to move home with my parents so I can pay off some of my debt, I am struggling financially. This is where the thoughts being....1) I feel like a loser and that people will think I am a loser because I need to move home in my late 30s, 2)I am worried that if I don't find a better paying job I will end up living on the street and not be able to afford to live, 3)what if something happens to my parents and they aren't around to help me, what would I do....and the thoughts go on and on. Has anyone ever had thoughts like this???

Help! I can't focus and feel like I am walking around in a cloud because I am so consumed with these thoughts.

[raggamuffin]

Anxiety fills you head with all sorts of what if's. They're never very positive or realistic in composition. In fact we tend to worry about things that aren't likely to happen at all. but fixating and fretting on them so much winds up becoming a way of life. We wind up withdrawn from reality and penning our own nightmares day in day out.

Truth is there's nothing wrong with moving back home until you get things sorted out for you. Unfortunately the job market in most countries these days isn't brilliant and it's a disappointment to students who spent a long time getting degress to often wind up in employment that seldom has anything to do with their studies in university.

But you can't panic and fret about the future. YOu have to do what needs to be done in the here and now. That takes tie of course, as with anxiety there is no overnight fix.

If the place you're currently working in doesn't leave you financially stable then you should perhaps hand your CV to an agency and let them help you find a job. That way you can focus on work and the move to your parents whilst they do the leg work and help you find a more suitable job.

There's always options in life, it's often the case when you live day to day with anxiety that you are often blinded by your own worries and fears. Life isn't as bad as we convince ourselves it is you know?

Ed

[SleeplessInPA]

Thank you Ed,

I try to remind myself that I need to live in the present, and not get caught up in the "what ifs" of the future, but some days it is so hard. At one point I had myself physically sick over this situation. I am actively looking for a new job but the market isn't the best here and I am almost starting to wonder if my Masters degree is working against me. I have tried job agencies here but they don't seem to do the best job anymore. I know that the decision to move home is for the best right now, It will allow me to get rid of some of my debt and put me in a better position in the future. I think the fact that I feel like I can't support myself and need to move home is weighing on my self-esteem.