Single

[raggamuffin]

Alas I broke up with my girlfriend today. It was a situation that I felt was coming but strangely wasn't fretting about. I didn't feel a spark there and after 6 months together I felt it right to explain things. I had siad before when she told me she loved me that I didn't feel the same.

That makes the guilt feel a lot worse but in all honesty she deserves someone who loves her back. In time I hope we can remain friends as she said she will need time.

Perhaps I will feel a bit more anxious tomorrow when we meet up to give back things and such like. In all honesty though I've gotten on better with her than any girl i've ever dated and yet the spark simply did not come. I found it surprising and as we got on so well I convinced myself I would start to feel love.

Alas a month after we dated the Epididymitis struck and with that wiped out virtually all intimacy and I think resulted in the sexual frustration older couples probably experience which wasn't nice. It's still ongoing and to be honest the Dr's said it is probably chronic at this point and will continue without being eradicated by the 5 different antibiotics i've been put through.

But I digress. Not entirely sure why i'm writing all this up but this is a frienly community and it's a good place for me to write things down I suppose. Of course there's positives to being single but I have the social life of an 80 year old pensioner who died 2 days ago so for me it's back to the quiet life. One that I must confess I do enjoy greatly.

Anyways I fear i've waffled on for too long.

Ed

[MissyTone]

its not uncommon to feel more comfortable alone. Most of my "relationships" are long distance or online. Since my Divorce and health issues I havent wanted to get involved at all if it meant i had to put effort into it, nor have I even missed intimacy. Im usually a social happy and goofy girl, but im okay with being home alone more and more. Im sure we will all find someone that makes us happy somehow or someday. it's just not today.

[ComputerGuy1989]

its not uncommon to feel more comfortable alone. Most of my "relationships" are long distance or online. Since my Divorce and health issues I havent wanted to get involved at all if it meant i had to put effort into it, nor have I even missed intimacy. Im usually a social happy and goofy girl, but im okay with being home alone more and more. Im sure we will all find someone that makes us happy somehow or someday. it's just not today.

I agree that being alone is some what easier for people with anxiety problems, for me it's a double edge sword sometime I find I want to be alone, but when I am alone I see happy couples and feel totally lost. I find trying to hold a normal relationship a real challenge.

[frankzito]

I like having someone around, just not in the same room. Solitude is the key for me .

[MissyTone]

I do see some friends here and there - but usually I dont stay long, or find i get more stressed when hearing them talk about their dramas. lol

[raggamuffin]

When I had CBT my therapist said something which really stuck with me and something I never realize. I've had lots of relationships but one thing was always clear, I attracted people I felt were not stable - prone to anxiety, depression, drug use. Mimicing my situations.

She said that you will always attract people in a similar position to yourself. So if you're anxious or depressed or angry you will find people who are similarly emotionally upset.

Therefore what is key is to do your best to get where you want to be. Feel fulfilled in work and life and on the road to recovery with depression or anxiety or whatever affects you and you will find someone who will be more suited to your outlook.

It was something that actually had me lost for words. It was so simple an observation and yet it was so correct. As the saying goes, misery loves company. But is it really fair to date people in a bid to rid yourself of unwanted feelings or conditions? The honeymoon period can be great and worry free but in reality, much like drugs; root causes never get healed you simply mask over the issues.

Ed

[MissyTone]

sighhhhhh - to true

[frankzito]

When I had CBT my therapist said something which really stuck with me and something I never realize. I've had lots of relationships but one thing was always clear, I attracted people I felt were not stable - prone to anxiety, depression, drug use. Mimicing my situations.

She said that you will always attract people in a similar position to yourself. So if you're anxious or depressed or angry you will find people who are similarly emotionally upset.

Therefore what is key is to do your best to get where you want to be. Feel fulfilled in work and life and on the road to recovery with depression or anxiety or whatever affects you and you will find someone who will be more suited to your outlook.

It was something that actually had me lost for words. It was so simple an observation and yet it was so correct. As the saying goes, misery loves company. But is it really fair to date people in a bid to rid yourself of unwanted feelings or conditions? The honeymoon period can be great and worry free but in reality, much like drugs; root causes never get healed you simply mask over the issues.

Ed

Makes perfect sense

[raggamuffin]

I think this morning it's sinking in more. I'm off to visit her in 15 mins or so. We spent virtually every single day for the past 6 months together and now I feel quite down and empty. It's going to take some time to adjust to this. These sorts of feelings always put into question whether it was a good idea or not. But to be honest I know there was no spark in the relationship so kkeeping it going was not the right thing to do.

Ed

[acetone]

When I had CBT my therapist said something which really stuck with me and something I never realize. I've had lots of relationships but one thing was always clear, I attracted people I felt were not stable - prone to anxiety, depression, drug use. Mimicing my situations.

She said that you will always attract people in a similar position to yourself. So if you're anxious or depressed or angry you will find people who are similarly emotionally upset.

Therefore what is key is to do your best to get where you want to be. Feel fulfilled in work and life and on the road to recovery with depression or anxiety or whatever affects you and you will find someone who will be more suited to your outlook.

It was something that actually had me lost for words. It was so simple an observation and yet it was so correct. As the saying goes, misery loves company. But is it really fair to date people in a bid to rid yourself of unwanted feelings or conditions? The honeymoon period can be great and worry free but in reality, much like drugs; root causes never get healed you simply mask over the issues.

Ed

Good observation.