cai24
10-21-2007, 08:37 PM
I am not sure if this is the right place to post, but I'm hoping someone can point me in the right direction. I imagine that I should probably get some professional help, but it's something I haven't done yet (mainly because I'm too embarrassed).
One of my major problems is that I have horrible anxiety. I would say that I first started to notice this when I was in middle school (I'm a sophomore in college now). For example, when I played baseball, I would be so afraid of having a ball hit to me for two reasons...1. people would be there watching and 2. i was afraid of making a mistake (mainly b/c people were there watching!). I would get so nervous that I would pray for rain, so I didn't have to play. I ended up quitting, because I couldn't take the stress. I was also a little chubby, and I thought that by losing weight and getting more muscular, I would solve the problem. I did both of those, and it didn't work.
I am pretty sure that this anxiety kept me from making friends. I was probably the only person in my school who didn't have any real friends from that school. I always get embarrassed around people (i'll be thinking that I look weird, my hair looks bad, etc). Believe it or not, I actually made a female friend in my senior year of high school, but it's been hard keeping that friendship afloat...see below:
Everyone got their license at 17...I finally got mine at 18. I still don't have a car, and I still don't drive. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I am too scared. I'm afraid that I'll get into an accident. I actually went to dinner a few times with my female friend, and she drove. I was totally embarrassed...but what can I say?...I'm too afraid to drive? I just tell her that I'm saving money for a car. I would love to one day say that I'll drive, but I don't think it's possible. My ridiculous thinking would tell me that if I drive her, I could get into an accident while we're out...and to make it even worse, i'd be even more embarrassed, b/c she would be in the car.
I was actually supposed to go to dinner this past week, but we ended up not going. I haven't had my hair cut in a while, and I was all self-conscious about it. I told her I didn't think I could go, because my hair looked bad. I think that she thought I was making a lame excuse and took it as an insult. In reality, I am so self-conscious. I would be paranoid thinking she is making fun of my hair (even though I know that she doesn't care what it looks like). Even if my hair did look good, I'd still be a nervous wreck...i'd feel uncomfortable knowing that she is picking me up, because I don't drive.
All of this anxiety is making me depressed. I think that I'm becoming depressed because of the anxiety/self-consciousness. I don't understand why I am like this, but it's really ruining my life. I feel like I would be very happy if I fixed my anxiety problem. I want to have friends, I want to do things, but my anxiety makes it impossible.
I appreciate any insight.
One of my major problems is that I have horrible anxiety. I would say that I first started to notice this when I was in middle school (I'm a sophomore in college now). For example, when I played baseball, I would be so afraid of having a ball hit to me for two reasons...1. people would be there watching and 2. i was afraid of making a mistake (mainly b/c people were there watching!). I would get so nervous that I would pray for rain, so I didn't have to play. I ended up quitting, because I couldn't take the stress. I was also a little chubby, and I thought that by losing weight and getting more muscular, I would solve the problem. I did both of those, and it didn't work.
I am pretty sure that this anxiety kept me from making friends. I was probably the only person in my school who didn't have any real friends from that school. I always get embarrassed around people (i'll be thinking that I look weird, my hair looks bad, etc). Believe it or not, I actually made a female friend in my senior year of high school, but it's been hard keeping that friendship afloat...see below:
Everyone got their license at 17...I finally got mine at 18. I still don't have a car, and I still don't drive. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I am too scared. I'm afraid that I'll get into an accident. I actually went to dinner a few times with my female friend, and she drove. I was totally embarrassed...but what can I say?...I'm too afraid to drive? I just tell her that I'm saving money for a car. I would love to one day say that I'll drive, but I don't think it's possible. My ridiculous thinking would tell me that if I drive her, I could get into an accident while we're out...and to make it even worse, i'd be even more embarrassed, b/c she would be in the car.
I was actually supposed to go to dinner this past week, but we ended up not going. I haven't had my hair cut in a while, and I was all self-conscious about it. I told her I didn't think I could go, because my hair looked bad. I think that she thought I was making a lame excuse and took it as an insult. In reality, I am so self-conscious. I would be paranoid thinking she is making fun of my hair (even though I know that she doesn't care what it looks like). Even if my hair did look good, I'd still be a nervous wreck...i'd feel uncomfortable knowing that she is picking me up, because I don't drive.
All of this anxiety is making me depressed. I think that I'm becoming depressed because of the anxiety/self-consciousness. I don't understand why I am like this, but it's really ruining my life. I feel like I would be very happy if I fixed my anxiety problem. I want to have friends, I want to do things, but my anxiety makes it impossible.
I appreciate any insight.