I need some advice with this situation

[solta]

So, I've been feeling a lot better recently. I've had a bunch of really great days, almost a week of not feeling anxious at all. But today everything changed and I'm getting really anxious and I don't want to go back to all the panic attacks, anxiety etc. I'm not going to go much into detail but the problem is that I have only one friend who's close to me and knows about my situation. Now this very same person causes me to feel like this and I know this situation isn't going to change. I feel betrayed and hurt but at the same time if I removed them from my life I'd have no one to turn to anymore. I'd be alone with this disease. It really helps when I don't keep in touch with them but if something happens then I'd have no one... I can only think of two things: cut contact or just deal with this situation. I have absolutely no idea about what to do :(

[Nathan415]

it sounds like you might have trouble opening up to people? I have told a lot of my friends about my anxiety, and don't feel like its something I need to hide. I just explain "I have been going through a lot of stressful things in my life lately, and I had an anxiety attack. it comes and goes but I'm trying to be a better person for it". A couple of my friends have replied about times when they went through stress and anxiety, are happy to have me to talk about it.

[solta]

Yeah, but I have so much bad experience about opening up to people. So many weird looks and refusal :/ I don't feel comfortable about talking to people about his disease. I don't want to take the risk of losing someone.

[solta]

Anyone? :/

[str8trippin]

My best friend triggers my anxiety. She is a great person and I love her dearly, but she has a horribly negative outlook on everything, and wants to keep everyone at the level of satisfaction with life that she is at herself...and that's a pretty low one. As they say, misery loves company. So, in end result, if I try to move forward with my life, she makes every effort possible to shut me down and convince me that whatever is in question is a bad idea, when in fact, the problem is her laziness and unwillingness to change despite how long she can rant about how unhappy she is. Since dealing with my anxiety, I've come to realize that is absolutely time to make some changes in my life, and unfortunately, I've also come to realize that it means cutting the cord and letting go...not for good necessarily, but enough to make the change. In the end, if the friendship can survive that change it will, and if it doesn't, than it's just time for new friendships and a new chapter of my life because if it can't survive change than it wasn't a very strong friendship to begin with. Losing her is scary because I don't have a lot of other friends...but it's also important to remember that you can make new friendships and forge new relationships. We don't always have to settle for what is safe, especially when it's bring us down more than it's lifting us up.

[Krone]

Everyone I have talked to has been very supportive, it's also amazing how many people have similar stories that they have also not brought up. Of course there's always the possiblity that someone will be a jerk, but that's probably not the type of person that is helpful in your life IMHO.

[solta]

I'm glad to hear that you've decided to make a decision like that. Its always a hard thing to do but maybe I should go down that road, too. I feel like every time I try to take some distance, I get called "distant" or "cold" and I'm afraid the whole relationship will fall apart. I feel like there's no middle ground here. Its either all or nothing. Its so hard to break a relationship that's been so good to me in the past but has now turned into this. Would it be a good idea to be a bit more distant and take whatever comes even if it means that it would the end of the relationship?

[solta]

Everyone I have talked to has been very supportive, it's also amazing how many people have similar stories that they have also not brought up. Of course there's always the possiblity that someone will be a jerk, but that's probably not the type of person that is helpful in your life IMHO.

I know most of my friends would accept the situation but I don't want anyone to think that I'm mentally ill. Even if they understand, I have a hard time facing them knowing that they now that I'm not okay. Sucks :/

[str8trippin]

I'm glad to hear that you've decided to make a decision like that. Its always a hard thing to do but maybe I should go down that road, too. I feel like every time I try to take some distance, I get called "distant" or "cold" and I'm afraid the whole relationship will fall apart. I feel like there's no middle ground here. Its either all or nothing. Its so hard to break a relationship that's been so good to me in the past but has now turned into this. Would it be a good idea to be a bit more distant and take whatever comes even if it means that it would the end of the relationship?

I think that it is really a decision you need to make; in my perspective, from what you have said, backing away might not be the worst idea. Backing away doesn't have to be done in offensive way...you don't have to say, "I can't be around you because you make my anxiety go crazy." But if someone asks, kindly say that you are just going through a lot and need some space some of the time. It shouldn't necessarily have to mean the end of a friendship or relationship, but if it does, what kind of friend is that to begin with?

[solta]

I think that it is really a decision you need to make; in my perspective, from what you have said, backing away might not be the worst idea. Backing away doesn't have to be done in offensive way...you don't have to say, "I can't be around you because you make my anxiety go crazy." But if someone asks, kindly say that you are just going through a lot and need some space some of the time. It shouldn't necessarily have to mean the end of a friendship or relationship, but if it does, what kind of friend is that to begin with?

I have to say that what you've said makes a lot of sense. I've never been someone who easily trusts people but I decided I had to open up to someone and it was great for a long time until now. I don't know how I'll ever trust anyone again knowing that the person who was closest to me did what they did. I'll try and do this slowly and I hope they will realize what they lost because I don't think there's a way back from this anymore, no matter what happens later on. The only thing that worries me right now is the fact that I'll be completely alone with my anxiety. But it seems like this is the road I have to take since nothing is worth more to me than feeling normal. I do feel scared because we used to talk for a good part of the day and that kept my mind busy. How can I replace that?

[str8trippin]

I have to say that what you've said makes a lot of sense. I've never been someone who easily trusts people but I decided I had to open up to someone and it was great for a long time until now. I don't know how I'll ever trust anyone again knowing that the person who was closest to me did what they did. I'll try and do this slowly and I hope they will realize what they lost because I don't think there's a way back from this anymore, no matter what happens later on. The only thing that worries me right now is the fact that I'll be completely alone with my anxiety. But it seems like this is the road I have to take since nothing is worth more to me than feeling normal. I do feel scared because we used to talk for a good part of the day and that kept my mind busy. How can I replace that?

You're doing it right now! Come here! There's tons of people here who can relate to the things that you are going through and provide you support throughout the day if you need it, or if you're feeling alone. Sometimes I just get on to respond to other people's posts because it keeps me preoccupied if I'm feeling my anxiety start to build...distracts me and helps me focus my attention on something else. I also have a very hard time trusting people because of experiences from my past, but I know in my heart that I'll miss out on a lot if I choose not to give people a chance sometimes. You can always build new friendships...and who knows what the future can hold. Things change. That's just a fact of life. Sometimes it's hard to accept that changes are happening because we get comfortable with how certain things are, but how long do you try and hold on to something that isn't beneficial to you anymore?

[solta]

Yeah, it definitely helped to come here before I went to bed. The situation is just so bad and I feel like I can't do it. If I can't get over this feeling then I think I just have to suck it up and tell them. The fact that I can't tell someone to come over and be there for me is something that's hard to replace anytime soon, though. I'm too sensitive and that makes my anxiety even worse. Ghh...

[nicole2003]

I have a few good friends that really understand my anxiety and r here for me when I need them but when I tell my mom she always says its all in your head..stop thinking of it and she doesn't understand that's its hard..so I can't really talk to her..my gf knows how it is because she gets it too but not as bad as me..but sometimes when I have it so bad I just want to stay in bed and se gets mad and tells me to stop already.. So that hurts me..she understands but then at times thinks I'm doing it to myself.. :(

[solta]

I have a few good friends that really understand my anxiety and r here for me when I need them but when I tell my mom she always says its all in your head..stop thinking of it and she doesn't understand that's its hard..so I can't really talk to her..my gf knows how it is because she gets it too but not as bad as me..but sometimes when I have it so bad I just want to stay in bed and se gets mad and tells me to stop already.. So that hurts me..she understands but then at times thinks I'm doing it to myself.. :(

Yeah, the thing is that the people who haven't experienced this can't really know what its like and it sucks. I can't tell my mom because she is depressed and I don't want to bother her. Letting go is too hard for me :(