Cobra
08-07-2013, 07:38 PM
I hate how anxiety keeps switching symptoms when you get used to the old ones. My old ones used to be rapid heartbeat, chest soreness, upset stomach and pain in my back and sides. Now it is stuffy nose, can't breath, numb extremities and insomnia. Just now, sitting at my computer playing a game, I got a sudden, cold, trickling sensation in my chest. I took half an ativan an hour or so ago and my first thought was, Oh, No, the Ativan is going to make me have a heart attack! Of course, instant hyper vigilance mode, got flushed and sweaty, and feet and hands went numb. This is so ridiculous! I don't do anything to encourage this. I try my best to ignore the symptoms and not be afraid, but it is almost like an instinctive reaction to unusual body sensations. Today, I had insomnia so bad my wife finally came into the room and rubbed my back until I dozed off. We have a thunderstorm and the lightning and thunder had me nearly frantic. It's so humiliating to be this way. I am ashamed and frustrated and humiliated by this mental weakness. I never had it until I had to surgeries on my stomach. I thought I was doing better-- actually, I was doing better-- and then all my symptoms switched, and the anxiety came back hardcore. I'm not sure what else I can try. I've tried pills, prayer, ignoring it, exercise, exposure therapy, EMDR, somatic experiencing. I just want to be normal again.