Newbie here!! But not to anxiety

[Peanut82]

Hello everyone! Newbie here, although anxiety is an ugly old friend. I have social anxiety as well as panic attacks. My biggest problem is getting out and going places. I feel so trapped at times! I want to do things but its like I am fighting with myself constantly and I just give up. Its so hard to explain to someone why you don't want to go out to eat or take a ride here or there. Anyone else feel this way?

[danni]

Hey! I know exactly how you feel about constantly fighting with yourself and having to explain to people why you can't do something that to them seems simple. Especially as most people's opinion is to "get a grip" or "stop worrying". I've found that since talking to my family and boyfriend about it they are much more considerate and want to help me in anyway they can.

Recently I've also been trying to force myself to do things that take me out of my comfort zone just a bit at a time and it really does help. I really recommend it, start small and build up. I'm also working through a cognitive behavioural therapy workbook which helps you to understand your thoughts and behaviours in a new way and identify unhelpful / self destructive behaviours.

Sorry for babbling on, but please know you're not alone. X

[Peanut82]

Thanks so much for replying to this! Im sorry I didn't reply sooner. I do try and force myself like you said you tried doing yourself and I have but it just seems so small. I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. It doesn't help when you don't have much support and my mom knows what this feels like but it just seems she doesn't care right now. She has her own struggles to deal with.

[danni]

Just because you don't have support at home Doesn't mean you're alone, everyone on here understands what you're going through at least to some degree and there will always be someone on here to talk to :-)

I think when you push yourself out of your comfort zone it has to start small otherwise it will have the reverse effect. Just try to accept that it will take time and its not an instant fix an it makes it easier to do. Just make sure that each time you push yourself you make it slightly harder.

Keep your head up x

[robocop01]

I feel exactly the same way about going out and doing things. Try not to even think about your anxiety and panic attacks. Almost pretend you don't have anything wrong with you is how I cope sometimes. My social phobia was so bad that I stay home and I even have anxiety about staying home now. It's like I don't have a safe place like I used to.

[SleeplessInPA]

This happened to me a few years ago. I am fortunate that my mom has anxiety and really understands it and seems to be good at managing it. She would literally drag me out of bed and force me to go out with her. The first few times I cried the entire time and made her take me home, eventually it got easier. Do you have anyone you can talk to about it? I know you said your mom hasn't been much of a support system. Do you have any friends that understand?

[Peanut82]

Hi sleepless! Funny thing is my mom has suffered from it but Im just not feeling anything from her. Its a hard situation because its her, me and my grandfather that live together. unfortunately I dont have friends. The best person I know, which is my brother in law, just moved to Kansas with my sister. The distance is very hard!

[SleeplessInPA]

Hi Peanut! I'm sorry you aren't getting any support at home but I am sure you will get a lot of support here. I have friends but none who understand my anxiety. I am lucky to have my mom but some days I worry what will happen when she is no longer around (that's my anxiety kicking in). If you ever need to talk, feel free to msg me. If you don't mind me asking...do you work or go to school?

[Peanut82]

Thank you! and No, I don't work or go to school. It's a long story but the majority of my life has been taking care of other people and that started when I was 15. I think it just became something I had to do and my parents never urged or supported to do anything job or career wise and that sucked. I's nice to have that person encouraging you. Between my nephew and then when we moved added my grandparents, its all I have done. We had a family cleaning business but that fizzled. Im at the point where I want a change but I think I'm just so used to doing what I've done part of me doesn't want to. does that make sense?

[SleeplessInPA]

Yes, no wonder you have anxiety! It sounds like you are always taking care of everyone else, and it give you no time to take care of yourself :( Don't get me wrong, what you are doing is a wonderful and selfless thing, but you also need to take care of YOU

[Peanut82]

Thank you for acknowledging that. Its such a hard situation because I feel like I lost out on a lot and at times I feel like I'm going through the stages I never had a chance to before. Sometimes I don't feel like an adult at all and other times I feel old as hell. lol Between my grandfather and niece and nephew plus my mom at times it drives me nuts. How has your Anxiety level been?