FrazzledDad
10-13-2007, 06:49 PM
Hi.
Man, do I hate myself sometimes. That's pretty much how I feel when I get upset and start feeling anxious. I've struggled on and off with whatever it is that's wrong with me for years, but since my wife and I had a baby 5 months ago I've been a ball of nerves.
I hate being a dad. I hate myself for feeling that way. I'm no good to myself, my wife or my son, who is perfectly happy and healthy. I started seeing a therapist who tried something called EMDR I think? I don't understand it but it seemed to work for a while, but all this week I've been back to my old self.
I don't understand it either. I got a cold last Saturday. My wife got sick - same cold - on Wednesday of this week. Now here it is Saturday night and all I can do is worry that the baby is going to get this cold. Sounds stupid, right? I know it is, but I can't stop worrying about it. I know I'm in for a sleepless night and a bad day tomorrow, when I'll be too tired to care anymore.
I hate feeling this way, and I want things to get better but I just don't know what to do. I'm not ready to give in on therapy yet and I really don't want to take medication but I just don't know anymore.
Anyway, it does feel good just to type it all out and get it off my chest. I feel bad talking to my wife about this anymore. She's so good and supportive by I know it can't be hard for her to here the same thing over and over again, especially when she loves being a mom and knows I hate being a dad.
I just don't know what to do anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Man, do I hate myself sometimes. That's pretty much how I feel when I get upset and start feeling anxious. I've struggled on and off with whatever it is that's wrong with me for years, but since my wife and I had a baby 5 months ago I've been a ball of nerves.
I hate being a dad. I hate myself for feeling that way. I'm no good to myself, my wife or my son, who is perfectly happy and healthy. I started seeing a therapist who tried something called EMDR I think? I don't understand it but it seemed to work for a while, but all this week I've been back to my old self.
I don't understand it either. I got a cold last Saturday. My wife got sick - same cold - on Wednesday of this week. Now here it is Saturday night and all I can do is worry that the baby is going to get this cold. Sounds stupid, right? I know it is, but I can't stop worrying about it. I know I'm in for a sleepless night and a bad day tomorrow, when I'll be too tired to care anymore.
I hate feeling this way, and I want things to get better but I just don't know what to do. I'm not ready to give in on therapy yet and I really don't want to take medication but I just don't know anymore.
Anyway, it does feel good just to type it all out and get it off my chest. I feel bad talking to my wife about this anymore. She's so good and supportive by I know it can't be hard for her to here the same thing over and over again, especially when she loves being a mom and knows I hate being a dad.
I just don't know what to do anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions?