Alone

[leighlee]

I posted in the agoraphobia form but no response. Does anyone else struggle with being alone. When I'm alone I'm do scared I will have a panic attack and will call the paramedics. I try being alone in very small doses. Been struggling for over two years. I know exposure is the only way out but I am really struggling. Anyone else? What have/are you doing? Really need the support!

[suz245]

yes i have in the last year ive called the paramedics a few times coz i was having bad irregular heartbeat and thought i was going to die.... its very scarey but i live alone so im used to it but when my anxiety is really bad i get so scared and go stay with my mum and dad.... your not alone in this many if us fear being alone... its the reassurance i think when someone else is there that keeps us composed xx

[anthonyjbro760]

I feel the same way :(

[Stephj526]

This is one of my biggest triggers. I'm still trying to figure out how to cope and overcome it. So far, distracting myself with projects or talking on the phone have helped. Try keeping busy and maybe that will keep your mind off of it.

[Cobra]

The key, I think, is to figure out why being alone scares you. Get at the root fear. Are you afraid of being attacked? Are you afraid of choking on some food and no one being around to help? Once you know what it is specifically that scares you, maybe you can take some steps to alleviate the fear. You know, keep your cell phone with you. Also, you do have to expose yourself to your fear, but not just exposure. You have to do it with the mindset that you are overcoming the fear, rather than just suffering. Mindfulness cognitive behavior therapy. You have to endure the thing you fear while working on calming your fear reaction to it with rational self talk. Reassurance. Don't avoid the fear or the feelings that come with it. Rather endure them while trying consciously to lower your own discomfort with them.

[leighlee]

The key, I think, is to figure out why being alone scares you. Get at the root fear. Are you afraid of being attacked? Are you afraid of choking on some food and no one being around to help? Once you know what it is specifically that scares you, maybe you can take some steps to alleviate the fear. You know, keep your cell phone with you. Also, you do have to expose yourself to your fear, but not just exposure. You have to do it with the mindset that you are overcoming the fear, rather than just suffering. Mindfulness cognitive behavior therapy. You have to endure the thing you fear while working on calming your fear reaction to it with rational self talk. Reassurance. Don't avoid the fear or the feelings that come with it. Rather endure them while trying consciously to lower your own discomfort with them.

I never felt this fear prior to this period of two years, I guess I'm scared of a panic attack...don't trust my heart can handle the pounding. I have practiced relaxtion, always can do more just terrified of having an attack alone. When I seek professional help its addressed so lightly. Seems like no one understands how an independent person can become so dependent.

[Cobra]

Ah, yeah, I had that, too. I always enjoyed being alone until the panic attacks started, then I feared being alone because I was afraid I would have a panic attack and die. Well, first thing you have to realize is that a panic attack cannot kill you. It may feel horrid, but it is actually doing very little harm to you aside from maybe giving you a sour stomach and the shakes. To be honest, I got past the worst of my panic attacks by actually inducing them in myself. I made myself have three one day when I was alone. Then a couple the next day until I couldn't stand it anymore. I was crying, shaking all over, sick and exhausted, but you know what, I survived them, and that went really far in pulling the fangs of my fear of the attacks. I still get upset when I feel those sensations coming, but only because I detest them. It is not mortal fear of them anymore. I wouldn't recommend anyone do the same lightly though. Not without being seen by a doctor first, just to be sure there are no undiscovered health issues.

[leighlee]

Cobra,
Thank you. When you had/get attacks does your heart just race? I know that I need to be alone long enough to panic if need be and work through it. I am really working up to it. My "safe person" is ready to go!

[Cobra]

Yes. That is actually one of my worst triggers. I have heart fear and stomach fear. If my chest hurts or I'm just worried about my heart rate, my pulse will shoot up to 150. Same thing if my stomach hurts or I worry about my digestion. The key is to become unafraid, but it takes a lot of work, and stress can bring the symptoms back. I was almost free of it until we had some family issues, and my anxiety returned, but only about half as bad as previously. I still have work to do myself, but I know I will conquer it soon! You have to believe that it is harmless and it will eventually go away.

[Cobra]

It is, after all, just adrenaline racing through your blood stream. All it's frightening symptoms are just illusions. They feel real, but they aren't.

[leighlee]

Thank you again for your encouragement. Wish you well on your journey.

[leighlee]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts.