Hello, everyone

[cantelpit]

I've been reading other people's posts, looking for things i identify with. I think i'm really lucky in a way, but confused. You see i don't really worry about things, and feel i have a good self image, but i get all the physical syptoms anyway! I get nervous and anxous, but i don't know why. I shake, my palms sweat, i get chest pains, i get muddled, i go vague, i forget things, and I often get tears in my eyes for no reason. It started off about 2 years ago, when i was being bullied at work. i do a stressful job, and suddenly i couldn't function anymore. I was off sick for nearly a year, and faced with no pay and having to quit a job i'd been doing for 17 years, i forced myself to ignore the dread and go back. It was better than i thought, (I had a new boss, and my mates were really supportive) but i soon realised i couldn't manage, and i was getting ill again. I asked my firm to reduce my workload, but they wouldn't. I argued for ages, and eventually they sent me to a doctor to assess if i needed a slower pace. She said i was seriously depressed, and told me to go to my GP. I've been off sick again since.
I know you'll all be thinking "give up the job and you'll get better". I suppose i know i should, but I've given them 17 of the best years of my life, and i can't just walk away. I think I'll still be ill if i walk away, and who would employ me with my record? I've decided to try to sue my employers for not safeguarding my health and safety, and I'm trying to get ill-health retirement. This might mean i can afford to take a simpler job without losing my lifestyle, but it'll be a hard road. I'm 49, and until 2 years ago was known as a placid caring gentle man. I'll be around for a while, and if i can help anyone else while i'm here i'll be pleased to. I can certainly add empathy with the symptoms, if not the thoughts.
Anyone got any ideas that might help me?????