Social Anxiety w/ New High Stress Job

[kreativegurl123]

Hello all! Nice to find a forum like this.
Im new here. I have always been socially awkward and extremely anxious and fearful of social situations. I have low self esteem and bipolar as well. There was a good bit if trauma in my life since a young age and i really have no true friends.
Im 25/female and i feel horrible about being intelligent yet need ssi and cant make friends or keep jobs easily. Its very hard to deal with. I tear up when i think about how alone i feel. I have been a hermit for about a year and just in about a month or two I have been experiencing more social situations which im pushing myself into and new opportunities. I have been very busy, experienced problems with meds but sinced changed figured I would be fine now. I still feel VERY anxious. I started a new job 2 days ago at a grocery store deli in the south where everyone here seems to be outgoing. Im from New Orleans and never quite fit in. This local job is the hardest job I have ever done and im doing the best I possibly can. I cook, clean, multitask, interact with customers...and it is grueling for me. I already am feeling hopeless about being able to get through.
I go blank when dealing with customers when they ask me sonething I dont know and im very forgetful and i have been getting more forgetful through time. I talk fast and feel so self conscious...how do you deal with a new job that is basicaly like you are thrown into something without barely any training?
I am quick to leave if I get to my breaking point where I start sweating and crying and shaking like I have at other jobs. I take colonopan and try sooo hard to do everything perfect.
I feel stupid for even how long this post is but I need some help or someone to talk to. Any work tips for nervous types or social skills help is what I really need. I am so underdeveloped socially...thank you and I willl help others if I have advice to give. But somehow I need to know if this is even good for my health. I already look sick and drained from 2 days. I just want to at least appear normal at a job so noone can notice the extreme discomfort in anxiety.

[Chris314]

I had a similar issue today at work. I got worked up over a training class and ended up making myself physically sick. Had sweats, hands shaking and even my chest hurt. That last one is new. I am on meds but it makes me tired. I use to workout a lot which helped me. I started to feel better about myself and it showed by the way i carried myself. I am trying to get back into it or at least run. I seen speed walking and yea... Thats not for me. Talking about it when it was happening did help. Found out they to had issues and were on meds. I couldnt tell. After reading some of these posts i find that what i think is the worst thing in the world and no one could understand really isnt. Just read some posts and you will realize your not alone.

[alankay]

Keep at it and in time you'll get the hang of it all and learn what you need to.... only the hard way, by mistakes and asking lots of questions, etc. Things will get better if you keep trying. You'll get more used to it all. Alankay.

[DodgingRain]

Personally I do better if I have to have the constant interaction with other people. When I don't have that my social anxiety gets worse.

As far as the work thing goes just do your best and ask others that work there as many questions as you need. Try not to worry so much about the not fitting in part, sometimes others actually look up to those of us that are different. They are never going to tell you that though but often they don't want to conform and be "normal" and envy those of us that are a little out there compared to "normal" for that environment.

[starlightbliss]

I personally started a job as a cashier at a grocery store and it has been pretty stressful, especially when it is busy and especially because I have to memorize all the fruit codes for things, but by slowing and calming down it is getting better all the time.

[story]

It's great to hear that you step out of comfort zone and actually do stuffs that you are afraid to do. Many people would have chickened out.
Being a freshmen at work, I believe that it is pretty difficult to do everything perfectly. Given your current situation without ample job training, I think that you don't have to push yourself this hard to get everything done perfectly. I have screwed up many things in my previous job. Heck, even seniors make mistakes from time to time.

We all make mistake, this is just something we have to live with. Most important is to learn from each mistake we make.

Working on a job where you have to deal with customers, you will surely have plenty of chances to deal with some very rude and inconsiderate customers. Guess the best is to greet everyone with a smile(smiling actually helps improve your mood too), and treat workplace as a place where you make friends and solve problems together.

With this job nature, you will surely see great improvement in yourself in just a couple of months.