Please help me :(

[missnz]

I can't even function anymore I can't stop crying, I am making myself feel so sick I can't eat. It goes away but as soon as I start worrying it all comes back and I start freaking out.

I feel so stupid for this evening being an issue.

I am 23, have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years, this year we have been planning to move in together to our own place, both leaving our parents homes. I had been SO excited about this, buying nice things for our place, looking and looking for a house. Now we have found one. We have signed the lease for 6 months and move in in three weeks.

The day after we signed the lease (a week ago) to today I have felt dread, worry, extreme sadness, depression, everything I haven't felt in years. I haven't had any anxiety in years and now ever since we signed the lease I have lost it.

I am scared to leave my home, scared to leave my parents, to leave what I know, my routine, I have lived here for 18 years!

I am scared I won't like my boyfriend when we live together and my brain has been convincing me I don't like him anymore when I know its not true and its making me physically sick. Whenever I think about this I cry and cry, my stomach goes in knots. I don't know what to do, what if I convince myself once and for all I don't like him??? I am so worried it won't work that I am making it not work.

Has this happened to anyone else? What can I do?? I am typing this in tears.

I've been on SSRI's before and they helped but its not a road I want to go back down unless I have to.

I am desperate I have no joy right now, I graduate on Friday, I should be excited, I am not. I go to Vanuatu the weekend before we move, not excited at all

[Strawberry]

I can't even function anymore I can't stop crying, I am making myself feel so sick I can't eat. It goes away but as soon as I start worrying it all comes back and I start freaking out.

I feel so stupid for this evening being an issue.

I am 23, have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years, this year we have been planning to move in together to our own place, both leaving our parents homes. I had been SO excited about this, buying nice things for our place, looking and looking for a house. Now we have found one. We have signed the lease for 6 months and move in in three weeks.

The day after we signed the lease (a week ago) to today I have felt dread, worry, extreme sadness, depression, everything I haven't felt in years. I haven't had any anxiety in years and now ever since we signed the lease I have lost it.

I am scared to leave my home, scared to leave my parents, to leave what I know, my routine, I have lived here for 18 years!

I am scared I won't like my boyfriend when we live together and my brain has been convincing me I don't like him anymore when I know its not true and its making me physically sick. Whenever I think about this I cry and cry, my stomach goes in knots. I don't know what to do, what if I convince myself once and for all I don't like him??? I am so worried it won't work that I am making it not work.

Has this happened to anyone else? What can I do?? I am typing this in tears.

I've been on SSRI's before and they helped but its not a road I want to go back down unless I have to.

I am desperate I have no joy right now, I graduate on Friday, I should be excited, I am not. I go to Vanuatu the weekend before we move, not excited at all

Okay I didn't go through this but my sister did. My sister lived with us for 18 years before she went to her university outside of the state we live in. She was super excited about going to college but then she got the acceptance letter and started to feel very depressed about leaving us and for a couple of months she would cry and feel bad. She almost even decided to go to a local college here but everyone convinced her to stick with the college out of state because it is an Ivy League university and she would have better opportunities there. She decided to go and since then she has been very happy. The first 3 months were a little difficult because it takes time to adjust to a new place and she missed us a lot but she started to get used to it and would visit us often and I would go visit sometimes and had some of the best moments of my life there. You just have to take it the way it is and not let your emotions interfere with your decisions. My sister faced her fears and she couldn't even imagine going anywhere else because she has such a great time in her university but at one point she was going to let it all go because of the fear of leaving us.

As for the doubting thoughts, I have OCD and I get them all the time. It happens when you are facing with intense anxiety (which you are facing right now). Just know that if you are crying over something it basically means the opposite. For example: If I start to think I don't like my pet cat anymore and I start to cry over the thought of giving her away, I wouldn't be crying if I really wanted to let her go. If I really wanted to give her away I would be sure that would be the right decision and wouldn't obsesses over it.

If you woke up one day and you can't tell if you love your parents or not, what would be your reaction? Will you say to yourself, it's just anxiety/OCD/etc. and I will go to the therapist and sort out why I feel this way, or are you going to push your parents away from you even though you loved your parents all your life and never doubted this before?

[kayleedel]

I can't even function anymore I can't stop crying, I am making myself feel so sick I can't eat. It goes away but as soon as I start worrying it all comes back and I start freaking out.

I feel so stupid for this evening being an issue.

I am 23, have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years, this year we have been planning to move in together to our own place, both leaving our parents homes. I had been SO excited about this, buying nice things for our place, looking and looking for a house. Now we have found one. We have signed the lease for 6 months and move in in three weeks.

The day after we signed the lease (a week ago) to today I have felt dread, worry, extreme sadness, depression, everything I haven't felt in years. I haven't had any anxiety in years and now ever since we signed the lease I have lost it.

I am scared to leave my home, scared to leave my parents, to leave what I know, my routine, I have lived here for 18 years!

I am scared I won't like my boyfriend when we live together and my brain has been convincing me I don't like him anymore when I know its not true and its making me physically sick. Whenever I think about this I cry and cry, my stomach goes in knots. I don't know what to do, what if I convince myself once and for all I don't like him??? I am so worried it won't work that I am making it not work.

Has this happened to anyone else? What can I do?? I am typing this in tears.

I've been on SSRI's before and they helped but its not a road I want to go back down unless I have to.

I am desperate I have no joy right now, I graduate on Friday, I should be excited, I am not. I go to Vanuatu the weekend before we move, not excited at all

I personally have gone though this! And trust me its not as bad as your brain is making you think it is!!! It's amazing what your brain can make you do huh? But if you have been with your boyfriend for over three years then I'm sure he is aware of any anxiety problems you have. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. I used to have those "what if I don't like him anymore" thoughts. But I knew they would go away. I have learned to treat my brain as if it is a different person, because let's face it, it practically is when you are dealing with anxiety. Anytime I had those thoughts I just told my brain to shut up! And shook it out! Find something little that helps, every one is different. In my experience, living with my boyfriend (of 3 years) has only been a positive. You learn interesting, funny, person, sometimes annoying quirks they have but nothing that can make you not love him anymore. Stick in there. When you have anxiety all you can do is DO. Dot let anything hold you back!

[missnz]

I personally have gone though this! And trust me its not as bad as your brain is making you think it is!!! It's amazing what your brain can make you do huh? But if you have been with your boyfriend for over three years then I'm sure he is aware of any anxiety problems you have. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. I used to have those "what if I don't like him anymore" thoughts. But I knew they would go away. I have learned to treat my brain as if it is a different person, because let's face it, it practically is when you are dealing with anxiety. Anytime I had those thoughts I just told my brain to shut up! And shook it out! Find something little that helps, every one is different. In my experience, living with my boyfriend (of 3 years) has only been a positive. You learn interesting, funny, person, sometimes annoying quirks they have but nothing that can make you not love him anymore. Stick in there. When you have anxiety all you can do is DO. Dot let anything hold you back!

It is honestly nice (I don't mean nice it happened to you :P) to hear that someone else has gone through this. I've honestly thought I am going crazy. I'll be totally fine and remembering how I feel about him, I guess just feeling normal then all of a sudden i'll start thinking I don't again and what if I don't etc etc, it's driving me crazy my mind is going to make me not like him :(

I'm scared to tell him my anxiety is making me feel this way about him, I don't want him to think its actually true and freak out. I don't want to upset him at all. He doesn't understand anxiety, he has said before it doesn't exist. Little does he know heh.

I've just started taking St Johns Wort today to see if it helps calm me and get me out of this funk. Fingers crossed xx

[missnz]

Double post!

[missnz]

I personally have gone though this! And trust me its not as bad as your brain is making you think it is!!! It's amazing what your brain can make you do huh? But if you have been with your boyfriend for over three years then I'm sure he is aware of any anxiety problems you have. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. I used to have those "what if I don't like him anymore" thoughts. But I knew they would go away. I have learned to treat my brain as if it is a different person, because let's face it, it practically is when you are dealing with anxiety. Anytime I had those thoughts I just told my brain to shut up! And shook it out! Find something little that helps, every one is different. In my experience, living with my boyfriend (of 3 years) has only been a positive. You learn interesting, funny, person, sometimes annoying quirks they have but nothing that can make you not love him anymore. Stick in there. When you have anxiety all you can do is DO. Dot let anything hold you back!

Thank you for reassuring me. I am going to screenshot this on my phone and read it when I start feeling like this again.

I just bought some St Johns Wort today to see if I can help myself.. it seems to have made me feel better already. Placebo or not. xx

[kayleedel]

Thank you for reassuring me. I am going to screenshot this on my phone and read it when I start feeling like this again.

I just bought some St Johns Wort today to see if I can help myself.. it seems to have made me feel better already. Placebo or not. xx

I'm happy you found something that is working! Even if its for a day. Just remember most negative thought at caused by anxiety! Try to find a way to ignore them :)

[epollock]

I can't even function anymore I can't stop crying, I am making myself feel so sick I can't eat. It goes away but as soon as I start worrying it all comes back and I start freaking out.

I feel so stupid for this evening being an issue.

I am 23, have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years, this year we have been planning to move in together to our own place, both leaving our parents homes. I had been SO excited about this, buying nice things for our place, looking and looking for a house. Now we have found one. We have signed the lease for 6 months and move in in three weeks.

The day after we signed the lease (a week ago) to today I have felt dread, worry, extreme sadness, depression, everything I haven't felt in years. I haven't had any anxiety in years and now ever since we signed the lease I have lost it.

I am scared to leave my home, scared to leave my parents, to leave what I know, my routine, I have lived here for 18 years!

I am scared I won't like my boyfriend when we live together and my brain has been convincing me I don't like him anymore when I know its not true and its making me physically sick. Whenever I think about this I cry and cry, my stomach goes in knots. I don't know what to do, what if I convince myself once and for all I don't like him??? I am so worried it won't work that I am making it not work.

Has this happened to anyone else? What can I do?? I am typing this in tears.

I've been on SSRI's before and they helped but its not a road I want to go back down unless I have to.

I am desperate I have no joy right now, I graduate on Friday, I should be excited, I am not. I go to Vanuatu the weekend before we move, not excited at all

These feelings are completely normal!! Leaving home is a big deal - - there are a lot of "what if's" in this world that our parents sheilded us from but there does come a time for us all to move out - to leave home and do things on our own.
I dont think that its you dis-like your boyfriend all of a sudden. If you are feeling scared about the move, its just your mind playing tricks on you - - a way of justifying these feelings. Power through the feelings and JUMP! (metaphorically speaking)
I dont know about your parents - but mine welcomed me back any time I needed to go home. I moved all over New England, having a blast - would run out of money and go home. My parents were always there. Im sure, if youre 23 and still living at home - - if you dont want to live with you boyfriend after 6 months (because legally youre responsible for that house for 6 months if thats what the lease says) - - your parents will let you come home. You have a safety net to catch you if you fall.
And talk to your parents - let them know that youre scared. Get their support about this move - - Im sure it will help.

[missnz]

That is helpful its good to know there is a safety net. I'm just so worried and my mind is trying to convince me I don't like him when I know I do. It's all I think about morning to night. Actually going crazy here!! :( I'm trying to tell my head to shut up it work for a little bit until something makes me start thinking again.

Can't get any enjoyment from life right now. I graduate from university on Friday. Not even excited about that!