Saratoga
07-27-2013, 06:56 PM
I'm not sure if this is where I should post this. If this is the wrong place I apologize.
I met a woman online who has anxiety and depression and takes medication for both. She also has a negative self-image that has led to her to have very limited dating experience although she is working on these issues. She has a steady job and recently moved back in with her parents (she's 29, I'm 27). I don't have much dating experience myself, but my anxiety issues are not very severe. I really really like her. We talk often and I feel very comfortable with her. She says she feels the same way and talks often about us being together. But it is difficult for her to actually physically date. She keeps saying she's afraid I will be bored by her or that I won't like something about her once we start spending time together in person.
I have told her consistently that she can take as much time needs. And I have avoided pressuring her in any way. But I find myself wanting more and more to discuss actually making this into a real relationship. I don't have a problem resisting this, but sometimes I wonder whether I shouldn't be trying to make her feel easier about it. Or if I even know the right way to make her feel easier about it. I'm worried that if we stay like this (it's been two months), it will get even harder for her. And I'm also worried it's just my selfishness wanting to rush her, and that I should keep things the way they are until she brings it up.
I don't want to make things more complicated for her. But I find I already have feelings for her and I think she feels the same way. I guess what I'm asking is, will this cause her more stress ultimately? And how should I be approaching this? I don't want her to get hurt (or me either obviously). I realize anxiety disorders are not the same in every person but any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I met a woman online who has anxiety and depression and takes medication for both. She also has a negative self-image that has led to her to have very limited dating experience although she is working on these issues. She has a steady job and recently moved back in with her parents (she's 29, I'm 27). I don't have much dating experience myself, but my anxiety issues are not very severe. I really really like her. We talk often and I feel very comfortable with her. She says she feels the same way and talks often about us being together. But it is difficult for her to actually physically date. She keeps saying she's afraid I will be bored by her or that I won't like something about her once we start spending time together in person.
I have told her consistently that she can take as much time needs. And I have avoided pressuring her in any way. But I find myself wanting more and more to discuss actually making this into a real relationship. I don't have a problem resisting this, but sometimes I wonder whether I shouldn't be trying to make her feel easier about it. Or if I even know the right way to make her feel easier about it. I'm worried that if we stay like this (it's been two months), it will get even harder for her. And I'm also worried it's just my selfishness wanting to rush her, and that I should keep things the way they are until she brings it up.
I don't want to make things more complicated for her. But I find I already have feelings for her and I think she feels the same way. I guess what I'm asking is, will this cause her more stress ultimately? And how should I be approaching this? I don't want her to get hurt (or me either obviously). I realize anxiety disorders are not the same in every person but any advice would be greatly appreciated.