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rosco
07-23-2013, 05:40 PM
Hello all,
My name is Julie. I am 49 years old and have suffered from depression most of my life which has been more managable in the past 5 years due to ect treatments and medication. My anxiety level lately has been off the charts. This past weekend I spent in bed feeling like my body was frozen, my heart about to explode, my mind racing, hard to breathe and completely unable to function. The bad part about anxiety to me is that many people I know just don't understand it. "snap out of it" Ive been told, "get a grip", "relax", " take a walk". Well sometimes I can't take a walk when I feel like I can't even feel my arms and legs. And so, i just lay there and stare at the wall hoping it will pass. But days go by and the anxiety just won't let go of my body. It feels like being trapped. And fear grips me like never before. I am on a daily medication for anxiety, and went to the doctor yesterday who reluctantly put me on a 2 week regimen of a stronger medication until this feeling subsides. but due to the fact that that medication is addictive, he won't keep me on it. I'm always worried about the next attack and what I'm going to do. I somehow have to beat this, I know. I just want to feel normal. Oh, and you should see my house when I get this way. Laundry piled up, dishes in the sink, and that just makes me more anxious because I feel helpless. And yes, I do work and have a good job but it's so hard to act "normal" when you feel like you are going to spontaneously combust. Well, I found this forum in hope to see how other people are dealing with it and maybe get some ideas on making this craziness stop. Thank you for letting me vent.

Desk Lady
07-23-2013, 07:32 PM
Hi Julie! I am glad you found this forum . . . we are all in the same boat and the caring and compassion of everyone here is help in itself! You are so right when you say people don't understand what we experience. You have even had ECT treatments . . . that certainly shows a desire to overcome depression! Have you also tried seeing a psychologist? I see a psychiatrist and as I do not have insurance coverage, she recommended our local university psychology school. They see people based on what they can pay. That has been a great help. With all the pressures of how you feel and trying to function at your job, can you possibly get some help around your house on a semi-regular basis so when this befalls you, it is one less thing to make you feel helpless. I hope, also, this isn't too simplistic given the severity of your symptoms, but I find some relief from progressive muscle relaxation exercises. Some days, I do this repeatedly for a little relief.

Always feel free to vent here. This is a wonderful community! All my best to you!