Could use some help here.

[Slammed Vdub]

Ok so a little background about me first. About 3 years ago i had my first attack which was health related. Ever since i have been a anxiety and OCD sufferer. For the last 6 months i have been absolutely fine, maybe an attack here and there but nothing major.
Just recently i went on a road trip for a car show with my girlfriend and some friends for the weekend. This was my first time far from home. Right before the trip i started to have anxiety, about having anxiety. Dumb, i know. The only times on the trip that i had anxiety was during the evening/night. I was out of routine and out of my place which was causing the issue. The 107* weather didnt help. I had alot of fun on the trip and it was my big first life experience away from the family. I then returned home and started to have some anxiety and depression. I guess it was caused by the big change in routine once again and i was back in my boring life. Today i had heat exhaustion and things just went downhill from there. As soon as i got home from work, i seemed to experience depersonalization once again, and i had the feeling that i was going crazy as well. This just made things worse. On top of that i just randomly wanted to cry. I am not sure if it was caused by the fact that i am realizing how boring my life seems to be, or if i realized that i didnt conquer anxiety that i believed i had. Also, i am in that stage in my life which i am trying to figure out what to do, and i realized that I'm not kid anymore and life is speeding right by. Also, it seems that distracting myself makes everything go away.

Sorry for the rant but what do you guys think? Typing this out helped alot.

[JLBnole68]

Hey, I know exactly how you feel. Anxiety can be a nightmare when you have to travel away from home. There's a security blanket in knowing you're close to familiar things (family, docs, hospitals, etc....in case "something" happens), so your mind immediately starts worrying, even before the trip starts. I work at home as a freelance/contract graphic designer. Back in February, a local agency contacted me to work on a pitch for a new client in South Florida. I was to head up the presentation to the company owners. South Florida in February sounds like a nice place to be during winter, right? Wrong. I thought I was going to die the whole trip. I'm not generally scared of flying, but this plane trip was a nightmare. So was the overnight stay and the client presentation. I had heart palpitations the whole time, shortness of breath, chest pains, digestive issues, you name it. I thought I was coming unglued. I got through everything and even won the new biz for my client, but I was so thankful when the plane touched down at home I could've kissed the ground. Point is, I hadn't been out of town in a long time prior to that. And working so much at home, I was beginning to feel the boredom and isolation of limited human contact. Sometimes, I still do and it gets a bit depressing. I like being my own boss, but I've recently considered applying for another ad agency job. I used to work for one several years ago, but lost my job when the economy tanked. I think we all do some soul-searching during our lives, wondering if we're missing out on life or opportunities. It can get a bit depressing and overwhelming sometimes, especially if we reach a point of feeling bored or isolated...or even like we're stuck in a routine or rut. I've decided to change my life a little at a time. Set small goals. I think trying to change too much at once can throw you into a big state of anxiety or depression. That's what I'd suggest. Write down where you'd like to be in your life a month from now, 6 months from now, a year, in 5 years and so on. Make small changes. Set small but realistic goals. We all have the power to make changes. However, be thankful for your girlfriend. Look at all the great things you have right now and don't take them for granted. Yes, sometimes life feels like it's speeding by, but the truth is, it's moving at the exact same speed it always has. The problem is with our perception. Your life may feel boring or like it's passing you by. That's just anxiety or depression feeding your mind a lie. Enjoy things, even the little things. Expand on them. Take more road trips, maybe shorter distances until you start feeling more comfortable being away. Hang in there. You're going to be just fine. You're not the first to feel this way and you're not walking this journey alone. There are many of us here who are in the same boat. We understand. Take some comfort in that. I hope you start healing soon. You can. You will. Just have faith and take it one step at a time.

- Jeff