Anxious feelings

[Odysseus1410]

Hello All,

I just created an account and feel a little better already, although I still feel the need to get this off my chest. So here it goes:

I have GAD and panic disorder and have had it for about 7 years but have been able to cope well with it. In the past few months, however, it's been pretty tough.

I think it may be a combination of many things, but I think what mainly triggered it was hearing that a distant friend of mine passed away roughly a few months ago. After that, I began to fear for my own life and became afraid of death. Any little thing that has to do with death gets me anxious. In addition, I think that I am overly empathetic as well, and I begin to feel (or so I think) how the families feel of losing a loved one every time I hear it on the news, and it feels terrible--it's like I just developed a fear of grief (don't know if anyone has that as well). I hope I'm not the only one that feels this, and would love to hear from you guys. I love thinking logically and I know that the human body is an incredibly resilient mechanism, but I just get scared of little things that could cause death. It's like once fear enters, I can't think logically.

I want to also let you guys know that I am young (21) and healthy-I exercise and eat well (parents from Middle East so I always eat delicious Mediterranean food), so just the thoughts.

Would love some tips and hints (and hopefully some reassurance) :)

All the best for you all,

Ody

[laurentellez]

I am exact same way. I stay away from the news alot. Its bad anyways. If i hear something bad happened to someone who passed away... And i always think i have the same thing they did. Drives me nuts...

[epollock]

Ody,
I know exactly how you feel. First of all, since reading some of the posts in this forum, I feel better knowing I am not alone in what I am going through. And in reading your post, I can relate! I used to be so carefree - - fearless almost! But now death (and all the billions of things that can cause death) scares me to ....well, to death!

My mother died almost 4 years ago (which was when this all started) It was a sudden, unexpected death. She had a massive heart attack - - so now, I fear that the same thing is going to happen to me. I have feared it so much that I am having symptoms of a heart attack. The arm pains, the check pains, the rapid heart beat - - its not a fun time for me at all.
I have been in and out of the hospital - convinced that there was something wrong. That was when I was diagnosed with severe anxiety. I guess when you have an anxiety disorder, youre going to feel things that "normal" people feel - only 10 times worse. I guess you have pains in your body everyday and people who do not have anxiety never feel it. But because youre hyper sensitive, everything is going to be 10 times worse.

A thing thats been working for me is meditation, constantly reassuring myself that Im going to be ok and that when the time comes for me to "go" - Im not going to be afraid. Im not back to my good ole fearless self yet but I am off my medication completely (I was on 2 mg of ativan each day).
I wish you good luck my friend. This disorder is not a walk in the park. I urge you to seek counseling - talk to your friends, family. Trust yourself and your body!