Not even sure I have anxiety

[gingerberrycc]

Hi.

I've been reading some of the posts here and on other forums. It seems like everyone else's symptoms are worse than mine. Maybe I don't have anxiety. Maybe it's stress. Or depression.

Here's my (long) story:

I've been feeling pretty crummy over the past few months (actually, longer than that if I'm truthful): tired, worn out, dry skin, shedding hair, problems concentrating. The symptom that scared me the most is that sometimes my brain stops and I can't seem to find the right word, or sometimes I start a sentence in one way, and end it using a different sentence structure than I started with. This concerns me so much because I teach international students. I need to be able to communicate effectively.

I was 98% sure it was my thyroid, because a couple of years ago I had a nodule. But when the Dr. did tests, there was no nodule. All of my blood work came back normal. I'm gonna live to be 80, according to my Dr! He basically said it was stress, and to cut out caffeine and to exercise. But he offered to send me to a neurologist to rule out anything serious.

I went to that appointment and basically had a slight emotional breakdown. He told me it was anxiety and stress, and prescribed me Lexapro, which I've been on for about 2 weeks now. When he did this, it reminded me that I was on Lexapro about 7 years ago, when I was in college. He also set up an EEG, just to be safe, but I don't expect anything will show up there.

Thinking back, I've always had this dread surrounding school and work. That's why I went to the counseling center during college: I felt a HUGE lack of motivation to do homework and sometimes a lack of motivation to go to class. I even remember feeling this way in highschool. I remember telling my friend repeatedly "I just want to go home." Now, I'm feeling that same lack of motivation to go to work, and I'm afraid that it will eventually affect my employment status. I've called in sick to avoid it. I will usually spend the day on the couch watching TV, or catching up on cleaning, but rarely catching up on my work. Some days I am almost in tears because I don't want to go to work.

One day before first period began, our administrative assistant came in to ask me to gather info from my students. I got really upset and said that I needed to speak to her outside. I closed the door and told her that I needed a minute, but I ended up needing someone to take over that period for me. Thankfully a colleague was available right at that moment. I didn't even go back into the classroom for my purse or phone. I just high-tailed it outta there in tears!

Anyway, I'm trying to figure out what all of this is and how to deal with it. I am excited to have found this forum and hopefully I can figure out the answers I need.

[laurentellez]

My first thoughts are Stress and depression... What u think??

[raggamuffin]

I would agree. The lack of motivation and enthusiasm is a tell tale sign of depression. Anxiety also saps energy and enthusiasm for work and everyday tasks. If the job is lacking enjoyment have you thought about doing evening courses to find a possible career change? When you feel stuck in a rut in life and feel that there's more out there that simply isn't being experienced this can add to the stress and overall sense of depression and feeling down.

Change in itself can also feel scary though. but change is good and beneficial. I think medication should always be paired with some form of therapy. Drugs can help subdue symptoms but they never address root causes. It's probably worth visiting or ringign your Dr to enquire about any local therapists they could recommend visiting and take things from there.

There's no overnight cure for depression or anxiety but it can be achieved. It's also worth looking at diet. Cut out the processed foods, sugars, junk food etc. Try your best to stick to wholefoods, wholegrains, fresh fruit and raw veg. Dietary changes can be a chore and the effects aren't seen overnight but it's best for your mental and physical health and wellbeing in the long run.

I hope you start to feel better soon.

Ed

[gingerberrycc]

Thanks. But I'm not sure my symptoms fit depression either. I know I wrote "lack of motivation" in my post, but it really is more of a nervous feeling, especially when it comes to work. It's like a feeling of dread. I don't want to go to work in the mornings because I feel nervous. I feel unprepared, no matter how much time and energy I put into preparing. I get a knot in my stomach and sometimes my heart races. Some days are worse than others, but it is usually there in some form. This is why I think maybe it is anxiety.

My doctor suggested diet and exercise, but as you said, that can be a chore! My thought when my doc suggested exercise for stress was "I'm stressed, and you want to give me one more thing to put on my to-do list?!?!?" It's the same with a therapist. I have little means of money, transportation, or time to see a therapist. I know it's my health and all, but it just seems impossible right now.