Anxious after therapy....

[HealingTime]

My therapist is not real happy with my husband, as most of you are. She can understand that he's frustrated and hurt by my anxiety and my habitual lying (long story but it comes from wanting to be accepted and I'm working on it) but she also says he's not helping my anxiety and not acting like a man who loves his wife. She says I can keep trying and letting him act like this but for a short while but I can't keep doing it for too long because it's not good for my health.

She's right. But I'm determined to show him I've grown and I'm changing and want him back.

But here I am again. He said he was going to the gym after work and gee.... here it is an hour and a half later and he's still not home. If he stays out super late again, I'm not gonna be happy. I'm feeling very anxious but I already too a Xanax today and I don't want to waste them. I hate what I've done to this marriage and I hate myself so much.

[raggamuffin]

Hate is a useless emotion that serves no positive conclusion. Don't hate yourself. Work at bettering yourself. If he is a hinderance and not a help then you're going to need to explain to him which actions he does make you nervous. If he truly wishes to help he's going to have to be supportive and not add more fuel to the fire.

Ed

[HealingTime]

Is there a way I can get him to be supportive? Right now he is in selfish baby mode and doesn't care what I'm going through.

[raggamuffin]

That's men for you. We can be very selfish and childish. it's not a very good trait but seems very common in men. I think communication is key. So even if he is going out somewhere just aks him to drop you a text so you don't worry. he needs to realize that anxiety feeds off of fear and worry. So the stresses in your life should be laid out and you should see what can be worked on to help you feel more at ease.

If he is stubborn to change then start with little managable changes first, such a texting you when he is out every now and then so you don't worry and taking into consideration how anxiety affects you day to day.

It is a struggle for people who don't have anxiety to fully understand how all encompassing anxiety becomes. People really do wind up digging themselves into a hole and you feel alienated from yoruself, nevermind everyone else. So others will need to reach out more in order to help.

Ed