Cold feet? Withdrawal Symptoms?

[Edith_UK]

Hi everyone

So, sorry if this is the wrong place to post -- I'm new here!

I'm not great at chatting about stuff like this and tend to dumb things down as I get easily embarrassed about sharing how I'm feeling, but bear with me, I'd really like your thoughts on this!

So there are a couple of threads to my story and I'm not quite sure how to start. I've been on and off Citalopram (SSRI) for around 8 - 10 years now and last made a serious attempt to quit it in March. This time, I thought it was going better than ever before and I've remained off them. Anxiety runs in my family very seriously and it makes me very depressed, which is why I was originally given them. However, a month or so ago I started to feel very low indeed. Really desolate and hopeless. So that's the first half of the story.

In April I got engaged. I remember looking into my fiancé's eyes when he asked me and thinking how I had no doubts at all; I was absolutely sure about marrying him. After that there was a really fun period of telling everyone, looking for venues and setting dates, followed by a very stressful time in which I totally freaked out about getting things booked in time! That stressful period seems to have put a strain on our relationship, but we've also had some really good times as well.

I've never had confidence in my own decision making. As soon as I make a decision, it becomes the worst, stupidest, decision I could have made and I really beat myself up over it.

I'm having trouble teasing all these elements apart. Am I having a period of withdrawal from the meds, which is making me question my engagement; am I questioning my engagement because I have so much anxiety about making a life-changing decision?

To give a bit of context, I'm also really miserable at work, and I feel pretty lonely at the moment, so my support network feels non-existant, which doesn't help the perspective!

I'd be really interested to hear your thoughts. Thank you for reading.

E

[Claudi]

I think it could be a combination of everything! Firstly good on you for trying to come off the meds! It shows a lot of strength and its a great indicator that you're ready to make a new start. (I have nothing against meds, I think they work wonders especially in getting out of that initial slump, my problem was that I started to grow numb when I was on my medication, so whether something good or bad happened my reaction would be the same)

You're about to get married and this great new chapter of your life is about to begin and as much as its hugely exciting it can also be rather daunting, especially as you said that you feel quite alone lately and other aspects which are going wrong can put a damper on what should be a happy time. It's completely normal to feel this way. The planning alone can make you anxious about everything, but take it in your stride. Don't lose focus of what it's all about. If you feel you need some help there is no shame on going back onto a smaller dose of your medication just to clear the fog and give you some clarity during this stressful time.

Hope I could help!