castaway
09-20-2007, 09:10 AM
Hello all this is my 1st time posting on an anxiety forum, I'm a little nervous but hoping that telling my story I might someway hope to help myself.
I've suffered from anxiety basically ALL of my life. My father was in the military and we moved quite often resulting in going to 10 different schools. I always dreaded this cause we'd move through a school year I hated walking into that classroom with everyone staring at you....now needless to say after a few days and meeting new friends I always became a little at ease.
....a little fastforward, I'm 31 yrs old with 3 beautiful children ages 6, 4 & 2. I was married before (1st 2 kids with ex-husband) got a divorce which was difficult but the best decision of my life! And I'm now engaged to the love of my life. We're also in the process of getting a house built....so your probably thinking geez everything sounds fine...I wish it was.
My problem started REALLY bad just a little over a year ago Aug. of '06 I ended up getting this weird virus. I would feel fine one minute and then next thing I knew I had no energy, felt extremely weak and was on the couch resting. This feeling would last from a few minutes to an hour and then I would feel fine until it would hit again. This lasted for 11 days, I went to my Dr. 4 times and she did a bunch of tests but everything came back fine. During this time I ended up feeling a constant crawly/tingling feeling all over my body. I would mostly feel it on my face and arms but if I was still I can feel it on my legs and back too. After going back and complaining to my Dr. about this feeling and her not doing anything about it I made the difficult decision(because I was with her for 7yrs and she delivered all 3 of my kids) on leaving and finding a new Dr. I found a new Dr. and he is great! Doesn't know what the heck is wrong with me but he is trying to help figure it out along with an internist that he sent me too. I'm just so fraustrated with everything.....I also feel like I'm a hypocaundriac....and it seems like my family thinks this too. Now you probably ask why? Well when we sold our house back in Feb. and had to move at the end of June to a rental because our house wasn't even started, I started to get these dizzy spells and they would totally freak me out and I know I end up having a panic attack with it which made things worse. When I moved it was by myself because my fiancee is in the military and he was away during that time. I had to move to an area which I didn't like, it is by a busy street and my kids are use to living on a cul-du-sac....so needless to say I'm very uneasy when we have to leave the house and there is no fence backyard so I hardly let them play outside in fear of them running out in the street. But not much longer cause the house should be ready the begining of Nov. Don't get me wrong though they do get out to play but its when were out to someone elses place. Another reason with me not wanting to live in this rental is we have ants long story short exterminator came in 4 times and they are still not gone, they are only in my kitchen cupboards...nice place to want ants eh...grrr!
Ok so I went a little off track here and vented a bit but it totally relates to why I'm having anxiety issues! See my problem is I know I have a problem, I know exercise helps to fix this problem but I can't seem to get into trying to do this to help get rid of it. I don't want to go on meds cause I'm afraid of side effects, I don't go out and drink anymore(it was only occasional 1-3 times a year) because I don't like the way it make me feel. In other words I never get out to have fun!
Next week I'm going to get a holter put on for 24hrs cause they want to find out if the dizzy spells are heart related or just anxiety realted. Also in the morning my heart rate seems to be on the fast side sometimes ranging upto 130bpm just being in the kitchen making my kids breakfast. I'm also paronoid with my blood sugars....I sometimes get hypoglycemia and my old dr. told my to get a glucose testing kit and of coarse I'm testing almost everyday and I'm not even diabetic.
I constantly feel like I'm on edge for NO reason and I feel SO bad for my kids cause I don't feel like doing stuff cause the way I feel. For OVER 1 year I've had this constant crawly/tingling feeling 24/7 now who wouldn't have anxiety??? There have been times that the tingling sensation was more intense and I never figured it out until recently and I mentioned this to my Dr. and I swear they probably think I'm crazy but for about 3 wks I had stopped eating bananas and then had 1 one day and got the intense tingling around my mouth...I swear I'm allergic cause after that day I haven't touch bananas and I haven't got that intense tingling since.....now I'm terrified to try it again just to see if that is really it. My Dr.'s told me to hold off for a couple months and then to try again. So along with my holter next week I'm also getting a CT Scan on my head....another thing wrong with me is a constant buzzing in my ears which I only hear when its quiet. So now you see why I feel like I'm a hypocaundriac and my family thinks I'm too....I never had addmitted to this but think about it why the heck do I have all these things wrong with me....I'm not making this up and I swear my Dr.'s think so....I feel like I'm going crazy at times and I can't stand this feeling. I want this anxiety to STOP!!! The wierd thing is I could be feeling fine for a week or 2 and then BOOM it hits without warning. It bites!!! Totally!
So I want to thank everyone who managed to read my story without getting bored....
If anyone can help please let me know what I can do to try and stop what I'm going through.
TIA,
Castaway
I've suffered from anxiety basically ALL of my life. My father was in the military and we moved quite often resulting in going to 10 different schools. I always dreaded this cause we'd move through a school year I hated walking into that classroom with everyone staring at you....now needless to say after a few days and meeting new friends I always became a little at ease.
....a little fastforward, I'm 31 yrs old with 3 beautiful children ages 6, 4 & 2. I was married before (1st 2 kids with ex-husband) got a divorce which was difficult but the best decision of my life! And I'm now engaged to the love of my life. We're also in the process of getting a house built....so your probably thinking geez everything sounds fine...I wish it was.
My problem started REALLY bad just a little over a year ago Aug. of '06 I ended up getting this weird virus. I would feel fine one minute and then next thing I knew I had no energy, felt extremely weak and was on the couch resting. This feeling would last from a few minutes to an hour and then I would feel fine until it would hit again. This lasted for 11 days, I went to my Dr. 4 times and she did a bunch of tests but everything came back fine. During this time I ended up feeling a constant crawly/tingling feeling all over my body. I would mostly feel it on my face and arms but if I was still I can feel it on my legs and back too. After going back and complaining to my Dr. about this feeling and her not doing anything about it I made the difficult decision(because I was with her for 7yrs and she delivered all 3 of my kids) on leaving and finding a new Dr. I found a new Dr. and he is great! Doesn't know what the heck is wrong with me but he is trying to help figure it out along with an internist that he sent me too. I'm just so fraustrated with everything.....I also feel like I'm a hypocaundriac....and it seems like my family thinks this too. Now you probably ask why? Well when we sold our house back in Feb. and had to move at the end of June to a rental because our house wasn't even started, I started to get these dizzy spells and they would totally freak me out and I know I end up having a panic attack with it which made things worse. When I moved it was by myself because my fiancee is in the military and he was away during that time. I had to move to an area which I didn't like, it is by a busy street and my kids are use to living on a cul-du-sac....so needless to say I'm very uneasy when we have to leave the house and there is no fence backyard so I hardly let them play outside in fear of them running out in the street. But not much longer cause the house should be ready the begining of Nov. Don't get me wrong though they do get out to play but its when were out to someone elses place. Another reason with me not wanting to live in this rental is we have ants long story short exterminator came in 4 times and they are still not gone, they are only in my kitchen cupboards...nice place to want ants eh...grrr!
Ok so I went a little off track here and vented a bit but it totally relates to why I'm having anxiety issues! See my problem is I know I have a problem, I know exercise helps to fix this problem but I can't seem to get into trying to do this to help get rid of it. I don't want to go on meds cause I'm afraid of side effects, I don't go out and drink anymore(it was only occasional 1-3 times a year) because I don't like the way it make me feel. In other words I never get out to have fun!
Next week I'm going to get a holter put on for 24hrs cause they want to find out if the dizzy spells are heart related or just anxiety realted. Also in the morning my heart rate seems to be on the fast side sometimes ranging upto 130bpm just being in the kitchen making my kids breakfast. I'm also paronoid with my blood sugars....I sometimes get hypoglycemia and my old dr. told my to get a glucose testing kit and of coarse I'm testing almost everyday and I'm not even diabetic.
I constantly feel like I'm on edge for NO reason and I feel SO bad for my kids cause I don't feel like doing stuff cause the way I feel. For OVER 1 year I've had this constant crawly/tingling feeling 24/7 now who wouldn't have anxiety??? There have been times that the tingling sensation was more intense and I never figured it out until recently and I mentioned this to my Dr. and I swear they probably think I'm crazy but for about 3 wks I had stopped eating bananas and then had 1 one day and got the intense tingling around my mouth...I swear I'm allergic cause after that day I haven't touch bananas and I haven't got that intense tingling since.....now I'm terrified to try it again just to see if that is really it. My Dr.'s told me to hold off for a couple months and then to try again. So along with my holter next week I'm also getting a CT Scan on my head....another thing wrong with me is a constant buzzing in my ears which I only hear when its quiet. So now you see why I feel like I'm a hypocaundriac and my family thinks I'm too....I never had addmitted to this but think about it why the heck do I have all these things wrong with me....I'm not making this up and I swear my Dr.'s think so....I feel like I'm going crazy at times and I can't stand this feeling. I want this anxiety to STOP!!! The wierd thing is I could be feeling fine for a week or 2 and then BOOM it hits without warning. It bites!!! Totally!
So I want to thank everyone who managed to read my story without getting bored....
If anyone can help please let me know what I can do to try and stop what I'm going through.
TIA,
Castaway