Not sure if this will help, but thought id give it a try...

[MEGO]

Hi, i was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when i was 12 yrs old. Iv'e struggled with it ever since and have never really been able to get a complete hold on it. My depression comes and goes, but my anxiety is always there. I recently started a new job working as a psw and had a pretty rough shift yesterday. I had worked over 30 hours in less than four days and was unbelievably overwhelmed. I always get myself worked up before going into work and my anxiety took hold of me. I had been shaking pretty bad throughout my shift and when I went to help with trays in the kitchen I spilt a bowl of boiling soup all over my hand and tray.. making a mess and embarrassing myself a great deal. I cleaned up the mess and eventually made it out of the kitchen without anyone realizing i was really upset. When I came back to the kitchen feeling like i had control of my emotions, the girl I was working with wouldn't stop asking me if I was okay. When she managed to get me to look her in the eyes and asked me if everything was alright I completely lost it. The tears came out like a waterfall and I couldn't stop it. She took me into a quiet room and tried to get me to tell her what was wrong. I just told her I was overwhelmed which was partially true. She sent me on break and I hid in the bathroom and called my mom until I could manage to bring myself to face her. It was so horrifying and she wouldn't stop asking me what was wrong which was only making it harder not to cry. I don't know if anyone knows what i mean when i say the "depression feeling" was there, but it was so strong i could barley breath. It's such a terrible feeling it just makes me want to give up. I'm feeling a little better today, but every time I think about what happened I start panicking and getting upset. I don't know how to get past this. I really don't know how to go back in to work without getting so upset and anxious. If any of you have any suggestions it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,
meg

[shell11]

Meg the same thing happened to me on my first shift of work In my new job . I explained to my boss after I have anxiety and she was ok with it .. It helps to let them know so they can guide and help you through it ..

[MEGO]

I'm not really sure I would have the courage to tell my boss that. I'm so embarrassed as it is and I wouldn't want to bring it up again. I'm really scared that the girl I worked with is going to tell a bunch of people. Iv'e already heard that everyone gossips pretty bad there and I don't wanna be the person being gossiped about. Working with that girl again is going to be extremely hard and I'm not sure if I can do it. The thought of having to go back brings on a panic attack. I don't know what to do.

[Duck Daffy]

I'm not really sure I would have the courage to tell my boss that. I'm so embarrassed as it is and I wouldn't want to bring it up again. I'm really scared that the girl I worked with is going to tell a bunch of people. Iv'e already heard that everyone gossips pretty bad there and I don't wanna be the person being gossiped about. Working with that girl again is going to be extremely hard and I'm not sure if I can do it. The thought of having to go back brings on a panic attack. I don't know what to do.

There's no reason to feel embarrassed. You suffer from anxiety. Some people with anxiety live a reclusive life because of their anxiety. So the fact that you still get up and -despite how badly you may not want to - do what you must do day in and day out shows that you're actually a very strong person. Sufferers of anxiety think negatively about their mental fortitude. We are under this notion that we are weak because of how much we suffer, but on the contrary, we are much stronger than the average person because despite our sufferings we still continue with our lives. So if internal strength is something to be embarrassed about then yeah, go ahead, be embarrassed, put on the DUNCE cap as well. :)

And about the gossiping, yeah, no one wants to be talked about negatively. But the fact is, everyone is judging someone all the time. This may be difficult to do, but try not to care what other people think about you. The only opinion that matters is YOURS! If someone has something to say about you, but they won't say anything TO you, then you shouldn't worry yourself about this person. This person is nothing. Another little trick, if you're heading into a stress-inducing situation, try to force optimism. Even if you believe in your heart that the day will go horribly, just make it a point to be optimistic. Positivity is always easy to force, but very difficult to believe. Just keep trying, everything will work out!

[shell11]

Meg don't feel embarrassed , its better to tell people then feel like crap , it might help you at work at least the girl can help you through a situation if it happens again ...

[MEGO]

Thanks guys, my anxiety has been pretty high thinking about having to go back in to work but your right it will only make me stronger.

[IWillOvercome]

Hey All,

Same boat here - a bout of anxiety was triggered by the start of a new job and recently moving in with my girlfriend. It was a rough weekend, but I am on my way back to a better place. Def around to chat if anyone ever needs a friendly ear.

R