Duck Daffy
07-08-2013, 10:29 PM
Yeah, life sucks.
That's my opening sentence after four revisions of this bullshit. Don't (pretend to) worry, I'm not considering acting out these thoughts/impulses (not any time soon anyways). I've been having panic attacks on and off since I was 7-9(?) Honestly, I'm exhausted. If me dying means no more panic or distress, then whatever, it's not like I have anything significant to contribute here anyways. Besides, I'm just another fuck up, so who cares? This is not for attention, I'm not asking for anyone to pour their heart and soul in the comments section (though it would be an interesting read), I'm just putting my thoughts in text format. I suppose I'm going through an existential crisis. Another thing that's putting a lot of stress on my mind is this ongoing battle with confidence/self esteem. One day (well, more like one hour) I'm confident and happy. Then it's a downward spiral from there. I'm beginning to loathe (I use that word sparingly) myself again. It's just funny how my mind drifts back to these thoughts so quickly. I don't feel like the same person (perhaps that's a good thing?) Maybe I'm just a dumb teenager. Maybe I'm sleep deprived. Whatever.
That's my opening sentence after four revisions of this bullshit. Don't (pretend to) worry, I'm not considering acting out these thoughts/impulses (not any time soon anyways). I've been having panic attacks on and off since I was 7-9(?) Honestly, I'm exhausted. If me dying means no more panic or distress, then whatever, it's not like I have anything significant to contribute here anyways. Besides, I'm just another fuck up, so who cares? This is not for attention, I'm not asking for anyone to pour their heart and soul in the comments section (though it would be an interesting read), I'm just putting my thoughts in text format. I suppose I'm going through an existential crisis. Another thing that's putting a lot of stress on my mind is this ongoing battle with confidence/self esteem. One day (well, more like one hour) I'm confident and happy. Then it's a downward spiral from there. I'm beginning to loathe (I use that word sparingly) myself again. It's just funny how my mind drifts back to these thoughts so quickly. I don't feel like the same person (perhaps that's a good thing?) Maybe I'm just a dumb teenager. Maybe I'm sleep deprived. Whatever.