nohardfelines
07-06-2013, 11:53 AM
Hi,
I stumbled across this forum and was hoping there were people here in the same position as I am. A little bit about myself:
I worked a particular job for about 7 years. I was very good at it and ended up getting offered a promotion into management about 2 1/2 years ago. It came with a nice pay raise and the promise of an office with my name on the door and finally getting some vacation time while it was still warm. (My company has a seniority system for vacation bidding, and people tend to work here for decades) I took the transfer, my wife and I bought a home in a new state and promptly had a second child.
At first, there was a lot of general anxiety over the job. Natural, I suppose, and something that I figured I would get past in time. As my wife works as a stay-at-home mom for our two children (4 and 19 mos), money is usually tight, but never frighteningly so. We don't eat out every night, but we don't have trouble paying the mortgage, either. I liked my boss and my coworkers and seemed to be doing very well in my position.
Cut to 2 years later. The boss that I enjoyed working for was terminated this past October. One of my coworkers transferred out and the other was also terminated for a separate reason. Both of my peers were replaced with fresh managers, leaving me as the most tenured supervisor here. Our boss, the Senior Manager, went without replacement for a long time, effectively leaving me in charge of an entire operation. It was a very difficult period, but exhilarating at the same time. My peers seemed to be coming along and the employees responded well to me, giving a lot and letting me know that they had faith in me. This past Christmas Eve I was surprised into speechlessness when, during our morning meeting, I found out that the employees had passed the hat around to buy me an extravagant Christmas present. It was one of the toughest times of my life, but also one of the most rewarding.
Now I have a new Senior Manager, and everything seems to have fallen apart. She seems completely unsure of how to run the operation and worse still, she looks upon the period where we were without as though we were children let loose in a toy store without supervision. She has a new boss as well, one who is very keen on 'making his mark' on the district, so I know that she is under enormous pressure.
She can't seem to resolve the pressure and, in hoping to make a mark of her own, has alienated all of our employees. Her sweeping policy changes make it harder for people to do their jobs, and is harming the operation. I've sat her down and tried to reason out what's going on but she insists on an "us vs. them" mentality that does nothing but hurt morale with the near constant write ups and terminations. I believe in holding people accountable, but I also believe that there is such a thing as going too far over the line into something that looks like tyranny. While I never liked being a manager, I never actively hated it, either. Until lately. The peers that I mentored over the past year are all actively looking for a way out, and the act of coming to work now feels as though i'm simply clawing my way to the weekend.
Every morning its a fresh set of people to write up for what feels like the sort of insignificant details that can be resolved with a 30 second conversation, but now everything must be documented and forwarded and signed off on. Everything is an inquisition now. I sleep, but i'm plagued by nightmares and wake up feeling more anxious than the night before. I wish that my wife and I had waited to buy our home, so that we could leave if a transfer came available, but now I just feel trapped. The worst part is that I cannot rely on my peers to ease the workload. They're good people, but I find myself in the unenviable position of being the one that everyone goes to with their problems. I'm the guy that 'knows what to do' when the truth is, I don't! I try to make the best decisions that I can, but I never asked to be this guy. I'm nowhere near up to that task.
Now the anxiety and depression is getting the best of me. I find that the job is now intruding on everything that I do, and the things that I used to enjoy doing are spoiled by all the worrying that I do about the next day. I find myself worrying constantly, and i've been eating and smoking way too much. I just want to have a fun afternoon with my family, but an hour doesn't pass without the phone ringing, without another fire to put out. I catch myself daydreaming about quitting, but its just not feasible right now.
Anyone else in a position like this? Anything I can do to better deal with the anxiety and worry? I know I just wrote a novel up there, but God it feels better to have it out.
Thanks
I stumbled across this forum and was hoping there were people here in the same position as I am. A little bit about myself:
I worked a particular job for about 7 years. I was very good at it and ended up getting offered a promotion into management about 2 1/2 years ago. It came with a nice pay raise and the promise of an office with my name on the door and finally getting some vacation time while it was still warm. (My company has a seniority system for vacation bidding, and people tend to work here for decades) I took the transfer, my wife and I bought a home in a new state and promptly had a second child.
At first, there was a lot of general anxiety over the job. Natural, I suppose, and something that I figured I would get past in time. As my wife works as a stay-at-home mom for our two children (4 and 19 mos), money is usually tight, but never frighteningly so. We don't eat out every night, but we don't have trouble paying the mortgage, either. I liked my boss and my coworkers and seemed to be doing very well in my position.
Cut to 2 years later. The boss that I enjoyed working for was terminated this past October. One of my coworkers transferred out and the other was also terminated for a separate reason. Both of my peers were replaced with fresh managers, leaving me as the most tenured supervisor here. Our boss, the Senior Manager, went without replacement for a long time, effectively leaving me in charge of an entire operation. It was a very difficult period, but exhilarating at the same time. My peers seemed to be coming along and the employees responded well to me, giving a lot and letting me know that they had faith in me. This past Christmas Eve I was surprised into speechlessness when, during our morning meeting, I found out that the employees had passed the hat around to buy me an extravagant Christmas present. It was one of the toughest times of my life, but also one of the most rewarding.
Now I have a new Senior Manager, and everything seems to have fallen apart. She seems completely unsure of how to run the operation and worse still, she looks upon the period where we were without as though we were children let loose in a toy store without supervision. She has a new boss as well, one who is very keen on 'making his mark' on the district, so I know that she is under enormous pressure.
She can't seem to resolve the pressure and, in hoping to make a mark of her own, has alienated all of our employees. Her sweeping policy changes make it harder for people to do their jobs, and is harming the operation. I've sat her down and tried to reason out what's going on but she insists on an "us vs. them" mentality that does nothing but hurt morale with the near constant write ups and terminations. I believe in holding people accountable, but I also believe that there is such a thing as going too far over the line into something that looks like tyranny. While I never liked being a manager, I never actively hated it, either. Until lately. The peers that I mentored over the past year are all actively looking for a way out, and the act of coming to work now feels as though i'm simply clawing my way to the weekend.
Every morning its a fresh set of people to write up for what feels like the sort of insignificant details that can be resolved with a 30 second conversation, but now everything must be documented and forwarded and signed off on. Everything is an inquisition now. I sleep, but i'm plagued by nightmares and wake up feeling more anxious than the night before. I wish that my wife and I had waited to buy our home, so that we could leave if a transfer came available, but now I just feel trapped. The worst part is that I cannot rely on my peers to ease the workload. They're good people, but I find myself in the unenviable position of being the one that everyone goes to with their problems. I'm the guy that 'knows what to do' when the truth is, I don't! I try to make the best decisions that I can, but I never asked to be this guy. I'm nowhere near up to that task.
Now the anxiety and depression is getting the best of me. I find that the job is now intruding on everything that I do, and the things that I used to enjoy doing are spoiled by all the worrying that I do about the next day. I find myself worrying constantly, and i've been eating and smoking way too much. I just want to have a fun afternoon with my family, but an hour doesn't pass without the phone ringing, without another fire to put out. I catch myself daydreaming about quitting, but its just not feasible right now.
Anyone else in a position like this? Anything I can do to better deal with the anxiety and worry? I know I just wrote a novel up there, but God it feels better to have it out.
Thanks