Help please

[Jessicaleanne1992]

My name is Jessica. I am a full time college student. I have dealt with anxiety/depression since 7th grade. But back the I thought it was just depression. It wasn't until 10th grade that I started realizing it was something else too. I was put on prozac. First 20 mg. then a couple years later my doctor increased it to 40mg. It helps, but over time my anxiety has gotten so much worse. (I think being on summer break from class isn't helping, since my mind has too much time to race.) It manifested into stomach trouble as well. I would get sick and throw up so much I'd end up in the ER with an IV. I've gotten my stomach issues under control now, thankfully, but I'm still not content with my anxiety level. Since I turned 21 in February I no longer have insurance. I'm thankful my primary doctors office has a sliding scale so I can eventually be seen there, but the application process takes a while so for now I'm waiting. I know I need to see a therapist and be on more meds.

Here lately sometimes irrational fear has consumes me. It will last for days. Sometimes it's of nothing, other times it's of dying, getting really sick, going crazy, something bad happening to my parents or pets, or even something as silly going bald. So now I count my hairs that fall out daily. I can't drive because I'm scared. Sometimes I feel a lost of interest in everything, which scares me. The list goes on.. Many nights I have to wake my mom up to lay with me while I cry myself to sleep. I hate feeling listless and hopeless.I hate being this way. Sometimes I get an on edge feeling. That's the worst. An ER doctor gave me Ativan 1mg that I will only take if I have a bad panic attack. They really help but I don't want to become dependent in them like my mom has.

My parents are understanding and I have my mom so I'm not alone but she has more issues with depression, not so much anxiety. I sometimes fear I'm losing my mind and that I will never get better. I am an emotional wreck. I'm grouchy a lot. I miss a lot of school. etc. I'm looking for a job, I hope keeping my mind occupied will help. I want to get my associate degree in nursing, that way I can pay for school and get my M.D in psychiatry. But I don't know how I'll be able to accomplish this or even have a normal life if I don't get it under control. Does anyone else feel this way? Like they're going insane? do you have irrational fear? What can I do in the meantime until I can see a therapist?



Thanks so much for any help. If I can help anyone don't hesitate to message me. Even if you just need to talk.

[em1]

Hello there I'm Emma I've had panic attacks sinve I was 17 in now 38 so I've been through most things to do with anxiety lol
The thoughts your having are Normal so are all the Symptoms,I know it's hard and Exhausting sometimes and some
Days can be better than others but you will
Get through this even if you think you won't right now YOU WILL anything else your worried About please massage me

[Jessicaleanne1992]

thank you so much for the reply and reassurance!!!

[em1]

thank you so much for the reply and reassurance!!!

Anytime I know it's scary but you really
Will be ok :)

[solta]

Hey,

I've been going through the same for the past four years now. I'm 25 years old and for me the worst is when I feel like I've lost interest in everything. I don't really look forward to anything and it feels like there's nothing I could ever enjoy doing. As of late I've gone out with the few friends I have or just by myself. When I feel hopeless I just do things like clean the house thoroughly or play video games. Watching movies or reading just doesn't do it for me. To feel relaxed I need to do things and then the hopelessness lessens. Being active has really helped me and now the anxiety comes in waves instead of just constantly being there. I've never been on any meds since I don't want to rely on those. Lifestyle changes have made my life so much better! There's always hope and things will get better :) It's just your brain being silly. That's what I always tell myself.

[Jessicaleanne1992]

Hey,

I've been going through the same for the past four years now. I'm 25 years old and for me the worst is when I feel like I've lost interest in everything. I don't really look forward to anything and it feels like there's nothing I could ever enjoy doing. As of late I've gone out with the few friends I have or just by myself. When I feel hopeless I just do things like clean the house thoroughly or play video games. Watching movies or reading just doesn't do it for me. To feel relaxed I need to do things and then the hopelessness lessens. Being active has really helped me and now the anxiety comes in waves instead of just constantly being there. I've never been on any meds since I don't want to rely on those. Lifestyle changes have made my life so much better! There's always hope and things will get better :) It's just your brain being silly. That's what I always tell myself.


thank you!