Anxiety is so bad

[JBZ]

I finally registered on this site because I wanted to reach out to those battling anxiety. I have been struggling with it for years but it has gotten really bad lately. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone else who knows what it feels like. I hope I can help others and perhaps myself as well. I need some help if anyone is willing to chat online.

jbz

[Dcoito]

Hi JBZ. Welcome!

You will find a lot of good people here! All that understands what your going through. Feel free to open up and tell us about yourself, and your anxiety. What steps you are taking in dealing with your anxiety?

[JBZ]

Thanks for replying Dcoito! I've had anxiety my whole life but it didn't get too bad until about 5 years ago. I got healthier (diet, exercise) and on the right meds (after a year of horrible trial and error) and I was fine. I then got off the med after about a year and was great until about a year ago when it spiked again (stressful job, father's death, etc). Unfortunately, the meds did not work the second time around so I'm in trial and error land again which is no fun. I take Klonopin as needed but feel I beat myself about it because I've weaned off of them in the past. Of course, this is a small nutshell but wanted to give a little more info. What works for you?

[Dcoito]

Well because IV had this before 10 years ago. I kind of recognized what was going on. And didn't want to get as bad as I was back then. In may I had a major panic attack at work, and had to leave. Of corse my first fear was that it was happening all over again, and I wasn't going to let get so far! Good plan huh? LOL. Well I saw my doctor and he tried my on buspar. Never took it before, but I was Leary about taken Paxil again because even thou it helped me 10 years ago, it had some pretty good side effects that I wasn't to keen on going through. He also gave my Ativan so I could have blood drawn, and physical. Since I fear doctors! Well 2 weeks later as my anxiety escalated, and I didn't even want to leave the house. My doctor decided to put me back on Paxil. I agreed, however I wanted to start on the most lowest dose possible in order to adjust. After starting the Paxil. I decided to do some research on anxiety. I wanted to know everything there was to know! I also joined this forum. I used guided meditation, guided muscle relaxation, and learned breathing techniques to relax. I learned how to face my anxiety. I learned how anxiety works, and where it originated from. I also learned that I'm ok! Nothing bad is going to happen to me, and I was normal not sick! No one has ever died from anxiety, and all the fear people have never happens!
I started to accept the anxiety, even put myself in a situation in order to have an attack! I welcomed it, and wanted to face it for what it was. I wanted to know just how bad it could get, and then see what happens after! You know what? Nothing happened after, I was still there, I was still alive, I had no heart attach, I did not faint, or have a seizer. NOTHING! Just me smiling! Now when I feel just a little anxiety inside. Or sensations. I just say come on bring it! Guess what? I get nothing. Just goes away!

I also learned that anxiety comes from a small almond shape gland in the brain called the amygdala it is responsible for sending singles out to our body that there is danger, that's normal right? It lets of chemicals in our body in order to protect ourself. After the danger is gone it switches off. However in our case it is stuck in the on position. We have anxiety, or fight or flight response. 24/7 in some cases. Even tho there is no danger in front of us! Or is there? Well it perceives our thoughts, and worry, and stress, and insecurities as danger, the worst the thoughts are the more anxiety. More anxiety the more sensations ( heart palps, numbness, derealization,joint pain, dizziness, stomach problems, foggy head, etc ). The more sensations, and or symptoms as some would say. The more anxiety. Fun, fun!

So I came to realize that I'm not sick, I have no disorder, I'm not going insane! It's all me! I caused the vicious circle all on my own. I'm still working on changing my thought process, as I believe over time of being me, I think quite negatively, I worry about things I can't fix, I work way to hard, and I'm just generally hard on myself! So relaxation is going to be a life long thing for me! Meditation, and taking time for me will also be a big part of my recovery as well. Eat right, stay hydrated, smile often!
Try the honest guys on YouTube. Maybe check out www.panicend.com I found it interesting. Take control of you, and you will be well again!