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RecurringThoughts
07-03-2013, 02:34 PM
Hello everyone, I am new to this forum and joined because, well, I need someone to talk to. I am seeing a counselor on Friday about my anxiety, but I have already worked myself up so much that I need to vent now. If anyone reads all of this, thank you.

From early July 2011 to early October 2011 I engaged in unsafe sexual activities with seven different men that I had known for at least three years as friends. At the time, I was trying to escape from feeling lost and uncertain about myself and this was my way of doing it. I never got pregnant because I always used the pull-out method (not that this is a safe method, but it miraculously worked for me over those months), and for some inane reason I wasn't concerned about contracting STI's. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for YEARS and these activities gave me some sense of reprieve! I should have sought help rather than committing this act of self-rape. Now, two years later, I am struggling with the consequences of my actions and how my choices have affected the way that I think of myself and my sexual health.

I have been tested for STI's on four separate occasions since October 2011. In December, 2011 (two months later) I tested for everything: HIV, syphilis, herpes 1+2, gonorrhea, and chlamydia. The results were negative. In late February or early March of 2012 (approximately 5-6 months later), I tested for HIV again because this is my biggest fear. I came back negative. In late June 2012 (8-9 months later), I tested for syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and HPV. Again, negative. Finally, in December 2012, I tested for HIV again because I was worried that I had previously tested within the "window" of time and was confident that one year and two months was enough time to provide me with a definitive answer as to whether I had HIV. The test came back negative. I am sitting here now worried again that I should have taken another herpes test at least three months after October 2011 and that maybe I have the disease. I'm getting tested on Monday, but can't stop thinking about how I am going to tell my previous encounters if I turn out positive. I am also worried that (and this is going to sound crazy) maybe my syphilis and HIV results affected one another (because I read somewhere that being HIV positive can affect the accuracy of syphilis tests) and that I actually have both, despite the negative results!

Part of me is aware that my health anxiety is rooted in guilt that I was so unsafe and could have put a lot of people in danger of contracting and spreading STI's. I feel irresponsible, ashamed, and pathetic, but that eventually I will get over this fear because my results were negative(!). Another part of me is convinced that I am riddled with disease and putting my current partner at risk. I have difficulty having sex with him, even after all of those tests, because I feel disgusting. I have been honest with him, so he is aware of everything that I am worried about, and he has told me that he isn't concerned, but I think he's wrong not to be. Obviously, I am going to share all these thoughts with my psychologist on Friday, but I wanted to voice my thoughts to someone. I really need to get out of my head because I haven't been able to enjoy my life for nearly two years and I am terrified of suffering like this any longer.

str8trippin
07-03-2013, 03:21 PM
Hello, welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time. This forum is an excellent resource...lots of great people with great suggestions on how to copy with some of the anxiety you are having...and a LOT of us completely understand and relate to health anxiety, especially! The fact that you are seeing someone for counseling is probably a great thing...I'm still in the process of finding someone I'm comfortable with. Living in a very small town, there aren't many options! Anyway, I understand what it's like to have that horrible nagging anxiety about your health even when you've already taken all the necessary steps to rule out possibilities. The fact that all your tests have been negative is excellent! I think it's pretty unlikely that as many tests would all continue to come up negative. Focus your energy on trying to find the positives in the experiences that you have had. You're in good health, your partner trusts you and it seems that you completely recognize that some of your decisions may not have been the best ones, and are obviously reaping the consequences now in dealing with severe anxiety over them. Letting some of that anxiety out whether it be through writing here or talking to your counselor or a friend you trust or whatever is great thing to be doing! It can and will get better!

Dcoito
07-03-2013, 03:37 PM
Dwelling on your past is not healthy! You took care of all your concerns by being tested. You was honest with your current partner, and your seeking help with a therapist. Girl you already ahead of the game! You just gotta get unstuck from that past! Realize you can't change something's! And that's ok! What you can do is live for today, and create a brighter future!

RecurringThoughts
07-03-2013, 04:23 PM
Thank you both! I keep coming up with new suppositions, and I think that is what fuels my inclination to keep getting re-tested! For instance, what if I was on antibiotics when I took my last syphilis test and my result was a false-negative, etc. I am going to talk to the OBGYN on Monday about these "concerns" before I get my test, so maybe that will abate my worries while I wait for my results. I want this to be the last test (I'm engaged, for Pete's sake!), but that is what I remember talking to my fiancé about last December when I took my last HIV test after a year...

str8trippin
07-03-2013, 04:32 PM
You obviously have a good head on your shoulders. Just remember that, and don't let the anxiety control you! Tell it to take a hike! I agree that seeing the OBGYN might help to ease the anxiety...just hearing the reassurance can help immensely! I know I don't normally look forward to OBGYN related appointments and generally avoid them if at all possible, but I couldn't be more thrilled for my annual appointment in a couple of weeks because I know it's going to help reassure me that I'm okay. At least, I HOPE it's going to reassure me that I'm okay!

RecurringThoughts
07-03-2013, 08:33 PM
I've been either bawling or on the verge of tears all day. I am convinced I might come up positive for either one or both of the following after my test on Monday: hepatitis c or herpes. I've literally talked to both the CDC and planned parenthood representatives about whether blood tests will stop detecting syphilis after too much time has lapsed since an exposure. I am going insane!