Hey- I'm new, and my story..

[Yolo2007]

Hey everyone. I'm new to the boards here- and am kind of clutching at strings!
I've lived with my anxiety for over a year now, and am only now learning what may be the cause of it.
It all came quite sudden- I came home from work one day- and my mind was in over-drive I couldn't stop thinking about how a certain person acted with me that day, my stomach was churning- at that point my chest was unaffected. I carried on working there- even though I hated it, as I thought it'd pass, but it got worse. Since then my paranoia, and my second-guessing of people has become out of control. I did a course of NHS anxiety classes..but found them unhelpful as I couldn't talk about my personal issues within a big group.
Basically I've always been a worrier. I've grown up with a couple of secrets- and coming from a small town near Newcastle, i've always had to watch what I say, how I act- etc...incase anything slipped out (one of the reasons why I may have anxiety now), and haven't told anyone back home. It's funny because people I meet think I'm really confident, but inside I'm really anxious as to what they think of me, and my chest and neck are so tense- and because Im only 21, it's hard not to think there's less hope for the future! Even though am carrying on with my life- I guess it hasn't dibilated me, in that sense.
I'm hoping to see a private counseller soon for CBT. And was just wondering if anyone had any positive experiences with this? I've tried doing exercise, breathing techniques, writing down my thoughts- and listing things which support/dont support what I'm thinking- but they don't seem to help massively.
I was just wondering if anyone could reccommend any therapies/techniques that they've found useful?

Thanks guys,

Ieuan

[Mister]

Hi Ieuan.

I can completely relate to all you've said in your post there, I used to have major problems with the paranoia and anxiety regarding work people. I always thought they disliked me and talked behind my back... I still do have the thoughts, but I can (usually) manage to reason them out now.

Part of that has been due to the fact that I have been getting therapy, so have been able to talk things out there.. also, as you have mentioned, the writing down your concerns & trying to reason them out... this has really helped me too.

I too have many things from my past which I'd not talked to anyone about, and I know that was pretty bad for me, but I doubt whether I'd have been able to open up about them is a group setting either :?

Maybe posting about things on here might help? It's all anonymous, and I doubt anyone will judge you on anything...

btw, I'm from Newcastle too, tho haven't lived there for years now :o

[IWasAnxious]

Ieuan,

Your anxiety symptoms sound quite common. The racing-thoughts thing can sometimes seem a bit like obsessive compulsive disorder. I used to be terrified of how people were perceiving me in my anxious state - I had a 'derealization' type anxiety and although i probably behaved utterly normally I felt like I was in a dream-state.

'Was I acting wierd?'
'Did people know?'
'Am I coming across like an oddball?'
'I feel like I'm being aloof but I just feel unwell - will they take this the wrong way and make assumptions about my personality'

As I blanch quite easily sometimes people would say.

'Are you okay? You look pale?'

That would sometimes turn tension into a more panicky state for some reason.

'Oh my god - they've realised!'