She has severe social anxiety. Would you help me know how to be her friend?

[bitsofthread]

Hi, just wondered how to help keep close a friend who has severe anxiety. A social phobe myself, I have found a new friend who lives in my area, but she doesn't leave the house/is considering canceling her wedding because she is afraid of people staring at her. Is there anyone out there who has anxiety this severe and would you please tell me what you need in a friend right now? Again, I have anxiety to a degree, but cannot fathom something this painful. Should I visit her at the house? or try and coax her to go on walks in the park? Maybe she just needs someone to be there.

[Megpie4525]

She definitely needs you to be there. Start out goin and talkin to her then when she's comfortable offer to go for a walk or somewhere and reassure her you're there and nothing's gonna happen. The more she gets out and sees, the better she will be.

[str8trippin]

I agree with Megpie...sounds like she definitely needs someone...but I'd also say she needs to know that she can absolutely trust you. I know for me trust is a big issue. I have a hard time trusting people, so getting me to REALLY open up to someone isn't an easy task. What I need in a friend is someone who is not judgmental, who isn't trying to diagnose me, who can just listen sometimes without volunteering unsolicited opinions and who doesn't care if I just need to cry and be a whiner once in a while, or get embarrassed if something happens. If she isn't comfortable going out of the house right now, just say okay, and volunteer to stay there with her once in a while so she isn't alone...keep suggesting a walk or whatever and eventually maybe she'll be comfortable enough to do it with you because she knows she can trust you. Let her feel like she is in control, and doing things in her own time. Anxiety is a lot of feeling like you're losing control, so giving her opportunities to feel like she has control of a situation could be helpful.

[Megpie4525]

Exactly!!!! You can still be there for her but not be pushy and the best thing you can do is try to understand it! Read about it, try your best to understand some of it.