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View Full Version : anxiety about first love of my life and with new girlfriend



mglover92
06-24-2013, 08:01 PM
going to make a long story short.

Cliffs
1. Liked a girl sophomore year. Had really really really strong feelings both for each other
2. Never got a chance to date .
3. Those feelings are still with me and will always be most likely
4. Have new girlfriend who I love and have been with for 4 years
5. Although its not easy being 21 and with one person for that long, I do like it and I do love my current GF

Basically my question is should I feel guilty for still having feelings today for the other person. I would never cheat on my gf or any crazy shit like that. but sometimes I do think about her and she is on my mind because she was the first person I ever really loved and it never got going because of something personal happening at the time. I do not want to bring this up to my GF because she also has anxiety and It will cause alot of problems. I just dont want to think im a messed up person. When I think about that it gives me anxiety...i just want to tell myself that "these are thoughts not actions, you havnt cheated you arent guilty of anything and to calm down" but its hard. Any advice?...:( I feel like this anxiety comes from a fear of me becoming a bad person and cheating on my GF with this other person if they approached me. And me losing everything i have like her wonderful family and friends and all 4 years. I would never do that because I would feel so fucking guilty and i have never cheated on anyone ever. Its just weird though that my anxiety is making all these irrational fears feel real. Please keep in mind i NEVER had these OCD thoughts or fears before my anxiety attack last year. This was never on my mind ever and I was normal.

Shepard
06-25-2013, 02:24 AM
It's very much normal to still have feelings for your first love, I don't know many that can say they don't. Hell, my first love betrayed the shit out of me and I still have feelings for her, lol. So no, you have absolutely no reason to feel guilty.

I would say you're thinking too much about this, there's no reason to bring any of this up with her unless you really feel that you need to, if you did cheat, that's a whole different situation..but what you're feeling is totally normal, I'm sure that if she had a first love, she more than likely has some form of feelings for him to.